stressology
i have actually an uncompleted blog entry in my "edit post" page.
that entry is the slightly descriptive one, telling u guys/myself what happened.
tonight, i had the urge to write down my thoughts. Like other times, just before i want to
pen down, i'm lost for words.
I am still unable to express myself online.
Speaking to a diary or an online blog can be seen as talking to wall. Walls do not respond.
Speaking to God is something that is different. Even though He doesn't respond like a human being/machines does, He is, but, One who has a heart of love and compassion. He is alive.
I was suspended from work due to my haircut. I "lost" almost $300.
I made up with a part time at a medical clinic. I felt that I was part of a cahoot that
led publics sign up for smth. All in all, i felt i was cheating aunties and uncles who signed up
for a following up treatment after a free quick check. With that, i dun feel good.
The next cell group material comes timely. No work- No extra allowance- Restricted.
Spoke to a fren who, instead, came down hard on me. SHould i have blamed him？I ignored him as I was furthered stressed and felt that i was being questioned! I know he has good intention. thanks.
How did u manage with $300 and I dun. I know u are concerned when u responded to the amount of money i am spending on insurance. I am not as independent as u... for stuff like this, my parents would insist and i would comply. Most hurting statement was " Why didn't u use ur pr skills to ask around..." F... freak! i am worried that the transaction doesn't happen quicker. Ya la! i nv plan la. no contingent plan.
I think she was right when she questioned if i had saved from my previous odd jobs.
I have work, had tuition... but true i am still poor- no savings.
Am i really like that... no sense of savings. Like that then how to be financially stable.
I am serious about what i said that it is good that we are talking about such topics.
attitudes twds money/savings/expenditure now.
I know when i die my money from various insurances would distribute thousands back.
I nv thought of sitting down to think carefully what i have and what would happen to those things if i were to passed away outta the blue. i do not own many things, most are paid for by my parents or they are shared items.
I wanted also to do an entry titled:
What would i do if i had 1 yr left on earth now?
1. damn it! I can't get my honours since I am likely to quite school. I want to get honours so that i can grad nicely, see how God's faithfulness in my struggles.
2. quit school is good. would i do social work? i dunno--- 1 yr only
regrets: nv a chance to sing in a concert properly. but thank God for heartdrive's first love, upcoming genesis and youth rally. oh ya! and the bilingual service which i was co-leading and translating a bit of mandarin.
3. able to see my thai frens again. not wasting time to learn thai but will go there and if possible sow seeds of faith and encourage my bros and sis in Christ, esp dawrung and Tik, Air also!
4. Learn how to share Christ in mandarin...share Christ in English in Singapore esp with friends from pri-college
5. to watch Man-united get the treble AGAIN! and i be there to witness their victories and goals!
6. eat glorious food!
7. ask for apology, speak to ppl i care, visit teachers.
8. i dun think i want to watch DVD...
9. time with chek
10. time with fam
11. not so keen about writing will though.
12. really request that FISHＬＥＯＮＧreserves a seat for chek for her concert in msia, spore and tw. how i wish chek's tix will be paid for.
13. get a social worker/pastoral stuff...to prepare for grief therapy.
14. to be able to sing properly in a choir with my choir frens and perform for my audience
15. to perform/act...i dunno where/what...
16. be more civic-conscious and be more encouraging to others who are not considerate on public transport like buses and trains.
16. to reflect
17. to pray for my meeting with God
18. to cry
19. to hug
20. sing K-duet/ swim/ travel with my darling
i didn't expect myself to write the 20 points...
hey guys, i am stressed in school.
I would like to remind myself that God is my hope and strength. Not to lean on my ability, my understanding and effort.
I would like to remind myself some pressure is good. remind myself my class's quite fun to be with. I would like to remind myself that i told God i want to invest in others' lives and entrust my academics to Him.
I would like to tell myself i have darling's support/fam's support and a group of supportive frens.
I would like to tell myself God has a future for me.
that i am a child of the most High King- therefore no need to feel inferior.
that even i may be hard-pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persucuted but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed.
all this because i have a Saviour who is full of Grace and Love.
seen this ad?
i dun mind this...
