..the beads and p*sses of dumbo-no-more

41:30-till end of show... ='\

2011-04-02T02:01:00.000+08:00

<a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/?mkt=en-sg&vid=3ba065dd-4a9b-4c7a-b40f-2a7606e4a265&from=en-sg&fg=dest" target="_new" title="Episode 12">Video: Episode 12</a>

good story line

2011-04-02T02:00:00.000+08:00

<a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/?mkt=en-sg&vid=f5facc84-7070-480a-a353-08794319a1f8&from=en-sg&fg=dest" target="_new" title="Episode 13">Video: Episode 13</a>

non april fools content

2011-04-01T02:04:00.003+08:00

What is it about the spirit of envy and jealousy Mr Ong? For when such thoughts and sentiments arise, I have the Holy Spirit to tell me to come back to God. This means to focus on the cross, give thanks and show kindness and love like how Christ did. This spirit of envy and jealousy makes Mr Ong wanna bask in his glory. and may i ask whose glory it belong to? May his mind be renewed and transformed day by day into Christ-likeness and not one that comforms to the world, very well epitomised by tw drama serial. This spirit of envy and jealous has immense potential of destroying friendship and fellowhip, its magnitude has it that it can isolate one and eats himself up. Pride. I do not want to trudge that path... but the path that is narrow. This pride that bit me when i was in school... very vividly...in that class. ____ At the same time, let not self pity swallows Mr Ong. for that he meant being small and inferior. then what or how does he manage circumstances and situations? One thing, he smiles, laughs, jokes, grins when he is lost/loss. This is the time Mr Ong thank his Counselor . For His power lifts me up and reduce the negativity, giving thanks in all circumstance. Self pity can be poisonous. Self pity ought to take many steps back and recognise that God in heaven has blest each of us in the ways He knows best. and wouldn't be that be more than enough?

10years ago

2010-12-12T18:28:00.002+08:00

exactly a decade ago, i arrived at hawaii with DHS choir for a christmas performace.

chekhui arrived at hawaii with NYGH choir for the same event.

we were together away from singapore and arrived at hawaii from 12th to 21st dec 2000.

we were 'together' then.

of vincent and grace ... many many

2010-11-15T03:15:00.004+08:00

Vincent:

ong- my paternal uncle

van gogh- popular painter whom i knew about

ha- OCS wingmate

tay- jo's toot

ng- bozz

?- someone who offended my fren and her workers terribly

lo-trbc church executive

Grace:

tan- senior fr DHS

bok- my DHS geog teacher

fu- a vjchoir junior

tan- church sister with abi

fong- church sister

koh- a uni fren

wee- fellow social-worker

lee- her bozz

ho- citigem-er

ng- jo's church fren

Jesus- my Saviour

10km nike run

2010-10-27T00:10:00.003+08:00

I finally took part in a marathon. not the vertical one. the normal one.

i think got at least 5 yrs since i ran more than 5km.

and i clocked a decent timing. to my surprise.

i started off the race happy. i was smiling and i literally was thankful i could be part of a running event. no no,...i think it was more of a fact that i actually moved out of my inertia and still was able to run. so i was smiling and feeling thankful to the Almighty for providing a fine weather with minimal haze and CK who paced with patience and encouragement throughout 10km.

i had my personal history to encourage myself to complete the race. i completed 21km 6-7 at years ago? yea... there were middle aged runners too and that, to me was an indication that 10km would be manageable.

just to bot down a few thoughts that weaved through as i ran..

1. cannot run? everyone also can run. dun have to come in first second third. dun need to bother about timing. just slowly run and complete the race. (IT)

2. just run. hopefully can do a marathon with you. just sign up together and train together. i'll run with you. it's ok. let's do it! (CK)

3. i'll be waiting for you at the finishing pt (dear)

4. that female singaporean triathlon who fell off her bike during the cycling section but showed her grit and determination to COMPLETE the race.

5. CK's sharing of how he endured 42km

6. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and LET US RUN WITH PERSEVERANCE THE RACE MARKED OUT FOR US. (hebrews)

7.I have fought the good fight, i have finished the race, i have kept the faith. (2 tim)

8. u can walk... just finish what you started. (myself)

and right now, i am recuperating from the severe pain i have experienced on my lower limbs and the ache i have on my back.

and i know many who ran probably dun feel the ache right now.

but nvm, thank God i am alive...after 1hr1min55s.

2010-10-21T23:55:00.000+08:00

<a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/?mkt=en-sg&from=imbot_en_sg_default&vid=9aab86bb-5704-4ce5-a469-bbbf3660a3c6&from=en-sg&fg=dest" target="_new" title="Woman Parking Revenge">Video: Woman Parking Revenge</a>

an email to my band members

2010-10-08T23:08:00.003+08:00

Dear RADHKA

Hope this email reaches you well.

What an experience it is for me to sing in a real band, an album-producing band that sings of God's love and glory.

It's about 3 years since this band was created and I have been blessed in many ways because of the band. Some of you know I am engaged to Faith a month ago. She, definitely, is a blessing in my life. We are now planning our wedding in July next year. This season of my life has been quite tiring but fun, stressful yet meaningful.

As I am typing this, I'm listening to the minus one of "song title" in the dropbox, i think God has really blessed each of us with talent. And it is so beautiful for us to be able to serve Jesus through music.

With much thought and many practical considerations, I have decided to step out of this band. It's not a sudden decision. Initially, I thought I can be a full member contributing constructively untill "album title" is launched. Now, we have better equipment, God-sent teacher and producer, amazing compositions to record!!! So Gian to sing. However, I do think time is too tight for vocal classes, photo shoots to be rescheduled again and again. It's not easy to coordinate timings for a group of people who have diverse schedules like us. (R, you are v. patient. God bless you.) In the future where studio recording is concerned, I am unlikely to have that flexibility in my schedule because of work, time with fiancee, preparation for wedding, ministry stuff too. With the above, I think I cannot come for studio recording and produce the quality that this upcoming album can have. Time is tight. Money is involved as well. Let the time and money be spent be wisely.

I've attended 5 vocal classes with R and A. Their vocals have improved tremendously. They meet up so very often after lesson to practice and discuss. The very first time I had A voice when R let me hear "song title", I was surprised with A's improved singing. Praise God for Grace. Well, I think I have improved slightly too... according to Faith! hahaha. Well, I think there is a Thai version of song title in this album and I like to do it (not alone off course). And if you guys don't mind, I like to contribute to this album in this manner. (feat. William, hahaha)

I sincerely and prayerfully hope that my departure from this band now would not have come too late.

This is not an easy decision but is one that I think is wise and would serve to benefit all.

With God's creativity, I trust that you guys would continue to glorify Him.

Prayerfully,

William

vocal back-up

8/10/2010

PS one last contribution, call yourself H.D.Band =D

engaged

2010-09-24T22:06:00.002+08:00

how come my blog has spammer comments arh?
=(

it's all on fb how my life is differently!

thank God for great frens who helped and made it so memorable for us.

Now we are preparing for the wedding.
and i am looking forward to post-wedding life- my marriage with faith!
____

my client of 10 months passed away.
shock->sad->angry->acceptance.
shock cos i wasn't emotionally ready though i knew she was going to die.
sad-> that she died
angry-> her husband is MIA. what sai husband is that!
acceptance-> already die le, how else can i do
____

preparing for wedding is tiring yet enjoyable and exciting!
about 300 days to go!

chronicles of william and his throat and dreams

2010-08-07T12:36:00.003+08:00

it started on tuesday night. it was about 1015pm when i got home. I took my temperature, wala! my thermometer says 37.8 deg C. how?
1. send sms to different people letting them know that i may not be able to make it for activity on weekend
2. send sms to boss at work so she knows that i may be on MC the following day.
3. send sms to ask for prayer

a. took 2 panadols, drank herbal tea and prepared one bottle beside my bed incase i woke up in the middle of the night.
b. slept.

the next day, i was feeling groggy and weak, decided that going to see the doc would be the wiser choice and so i got a MC. He said that i needed no antibiotics, entrusting my recovery to my immune system. o wellz, ok lo.
i took nap on a lazy afternoon and by that time my fever has left and i was sure i was able to resume my lifestyle already. faith came and we had a simple dinner.
gr8!

skip thurs, come fri!
i took half day leave and met faith for lunch at ashton! came back and sang wbox.
what a disappointment, most of the songs we want to sing are not in the system!
went to CG thereafter. (...break....)

u see, the motivation of writing this blog is what happened during the cell, the dreams i had these few nights and also based on past instances when i thought about smth.
This smth refers to losses.

I do think of how i might react when one day i lose the ability of walking, eating, smelling, muscular strength, or even ability to perceive. Now, as i am medically and almost physically fit or un-challenged, i tell myself that i would be angry, at a lost but ultimately i would still be praising God's goodness and kindness in my life. I will be optimistic because of Jesus. (come to think of it, i think i want to be inspiring to others still...which is still about me...hmm). How would my loved ones respond to that significant life event of me lossing my abilities? How would u have responded to ur loved ones who experience such losses?

we have seen video of how nick vujicic overcome some of his physical barrier but i wonder how family members, friends would have responded or being treated when he was borne. He was borne in this condition but if any able-bodied person was to lose their 4 limbs, it'll still be different because there is a change. for mr nick, there was no "loss".

i am reminded that God does not look at the external appearance but one's attitude and heart.

(...back from break...)
i realised that i am losing my voice as faith and i went to cell. Neither my throat in pain, nor feeling sore, not even my tonsil was uncomfortable but i was losing my voice. it was scary, really. I thought i needed to keep quiet and rest it. But it sounded different and weird.
When it was time to sing at cell, my voice was barely audible, was low and i couldn't sing more than 10 plus notes. i heard some "wispy, like lao hong" that kinda sound instead. i was quite upset and i thought of the type of loss i was writing earlier. I kept going and singing and even praying knowing God would hear my heart and my voice. on the other hand, i was afraid and fearful that i couldn't sing no more and i would miss my imperfect voice and vocals.

I think it was either tues or wed night and last night, i dreamt that
1. i was trying my help a student in her A-level physics which is totally of my chart.
2. my throat was unwell, and in the dream, i met eugene, a college friend whom i am not in touch. He is a doctor now. He said my throat condition was bad and red and swollen.
3. i was trying hard to understand some maneuver strategies but was ridiculously mocked at in front of the rest of the cadets and officers when i expressed my doubts. i rmb feeling hurt and upset as my esteem was badly pricked.

i woke up affected by the dreams and my experience at cell.
1. why am i teaching physics?! yucks! to some extent, i associate physics classes, remedial and exams as trials, uncertainty, low-confidence, doubts, question marks, inertia and reluctance.
2. hur! what if i really loss my voice which has been my instrument of praise to my God. it was also it that brought me to places like hawaii and prague. Also, it was instrumental in drawing faith's attention.
3. Hah! OCS. honestly, i had difficulty recalling strategies, symbols, maneuvers, commands, let alone getting an active unit to battlefield. Nah, not my knowledge and strength. what more, i was laughed at in the presence of many peers.

At cell, edwin asked what are some things happening in Singapore that does not quite fit with so-called Christian values? I said, the fact that we have to work to be no1 all the time or just want to be no1. striving for excellence does not mean being no1. no1 is only one of many indications of being no1. the emphasis of being abled, no1 inevitably marginalised those who are no2, those who are challenged, those who are lower in the socio-economic strata for they would find it tough to find opportunities.

In a meritocratic state like singapore where work ethics are propounded by many, the power of grace is seldom spoke about.
Singapore: God's kingdom
work: rest
merit: grace
ranking: all loved the same
ability: person
efficient/fast: wait and be patient
catch up: run together
get the sales target/commission: those who labour in the Lord is not in vain (1Cor15:58)

Most of us are able to work, hve abilities of different kinds, qualifications of various levels. We may conveniently peg our identities and beings almost as closely to our abilities (to work, to sing, to study), and neglect/turn a blind side to Jesus.

One lesson i am learning in the past few days with my voice not here is that God loves me for who i was, i am and i will be; whether or not i could sing, or talk, do physics and resolve those cosintangent, or whether i am able to inspire and lead.

If not for Jesus for died for me, and rose again, and grace that brought me to accepting Him, i wouldn't be.

minor anxiety attack?

2010-08-02T18:40:00.002+08:00

breathe william breathe.

I'm getting anxious and nervous with the many things i am doing now.

O Lord, pls pls give me some peace, quietness and allow me to work in state of rest.

the not-so-confident william is surfacing, inching its way into me.

i need u God

after news on 5

2010-07-21T23:50:00.001+08:00

today faith and i didnt meet.
so i went to run some errand at bugis and paya lebar areas and i went home.
I haven't watched news on 5 at 9.30 for a while so i decided to do something different.

this is what happened after the news.

i thought of
1. how tragic it is for the two families whose loved ones had died from two freak accidents. One as a result of a fallen crane (human error?) and a fallen tree (mircoburst?)
it really saddens me that the late Mr AhamdLispa's family's has to carry the so much financial and emotional burden. I wonder how they are making sense of what has happened, especially his wife. What was heart-wrenching is that 2 of the 4 children are undergoing kidney dialysis and if i'm not mistaken, the eldest one, 21, is receiving assistance from IMH for depression. As a social worker, i wonder how long it would take for compensation to be made and how would the wait and the compensation meant for them? Would they be on assistance for super long time... that is a scary thought because the assistance that i know of have are... (shake head)...sigh.

the second one was equally shocking because Mr Chua left behind his wife who was described by her cousin as one who depends a lot on him. They have a child who is less than 3. I felt so unjust for the family. I reckon they are one of the millions of typical families in singapore with hopes and plans, wishes and desires in their mind but dashed/disrupted/destroyed by a mircoburst!

GOSH.

2. mircoburst leads me to recents flooding incidents in singapore.

Initially, after orchard river was formed, PUB said they would check the canals. Immediately, i thought, who checks on what PUB does? i asked this with due respect. PUB is asked to explain itself to the public who are affected (Ahem, one of those affected is Acting Minister Lui, orite!) What have PUB been doing over the years?
Or would these floods due to climate change? Faith would have explained to me what the weather was liked say 5-10 years ago. Maybe it's increasing trash littered into drains and canals? (sigh, illeffect of growing population, failing campaign that is enforced by hefty fines-which reflects the good organisation's firm stand on a creating a green and clean country)

Where does PUB see itself in the drainage system at Ion orchard? I asked because there was a recent sewage leak had soiled the mall's basement 2 annex area. Do they have a part in this?
The floods haven't taken somebody's life yet. However, a domestic helper, Lalaine Suratos had to overcome rising waters which went higher than her chest! According to reports, if not for her employer who pulled her to safety, she could have drowned.

3. I caught another adver from thinkfamily.sg. thought their ad production are quite zai.
go to my fb and take a look yea (u will find out what one of my secret desires too, it's one of the videos i have it on my wall). the latest one is about YOG. It touched me. unknowingly.
The previous one on filiat piety have had pp writing to papers to air their opinions.
This topic... hahaha... it'll take up another entry, really. what do u think about filial piety?
is it taken for granted?
is it more than a social norm/expectation?
is it about forgiveness and love?
is it to justify or manage one's immediate needs?
is it earned?

what is it?

keeping track

2010-07-02T00:55:00.003+08:00

May: Vertical Marathon
June: Church Camp, Structural/Strategic FT course by Craig Whisker, 1st yr at SK.
July: fxk's WEDDING (xiongdi tuan), Creative Arts Therapy with Children course, FIR concert, Bird park, hfh 2010
Aug: hahaha... what else... upcoming events.... probably- RWS Sentosa Universal Studio, Zoo.

REFLECTION after a yr as a PROFESSIONAL

2010-06-14T22:58:00.003+08:00

I will turn ONE YEAR old as a professional social worker tmr, 15th JUNE 2010.

I wrote a reflection on my 10th week of work and one more on the 20th week.

I am at my 52nd week being a Professional Social Worker.

What is a professional social worker? Who am I? What do I (need to) do? How do I do what I (need to) do? Am I developing as an individual, as a worker, as a colleague, as a worker? How do I know I am progressing, stagnant, burning out?

To an extent, I do not have answer.“Social Work… a response when God called 8 years ago.”
8 years ago, social work is almost unheard of. Who knows that this social sector scene would develop into something like this today; scholarships were dished out, sabbatical leave and upgrading are part of professional development package, accreditation, pushing for higher remuneration and a call for more to join this sector which is lacking 60 workers annually.

The last 50 odd weeks in where I am has been quite smooth. I thank God for the opportune scholarship which I applied for and meeting with whom I am working for now. The office atmosphere is somewhat comfortable and pleasant for me as I am not facing any difficulty interacting my any colleagues.

I remember my first time observing my mentor’s session and realized real-time session and observation are vastly different. I remember my first ever client in the agency and whom I am still working with though she has MIA for a while. Family with financial issues are usually the first type of client a newly grad social worker would work with. I saw clients who are idealistic, who are unmotivated, who cannot understand my English, whom I struggle working with. I still (have to) meet them.

Then I got hold of clients with housing issue where certain organisation has policies which are idealistic, which are inflexible, which cannot help client whose plight/hardship/loss/angst/ fear/worry can hardly be tamed.

Aha! Change agent. A familiar term. Yr1s would have hear about it. How have I been as a change agent for client? Who needs to change? Who advocates? I work within the structure and policy now. I dun have the energy, resources, time to advocate change at the community level.

Next up, child bhv and youth-related cases are some challenging ones too. They need more counseling and social work, I feel. I think I just use ideas that pop in my head. Sculpturing, Questionnaires, Vignettes,etc. Theoretical backings- seriously, not sure. Maybe have, just can’t put any finger to it.

I like encouragement. I receive that from my first supervisor who sees more strength in an individual than deficit. Likewise, she was one whom I learned how important to trust in the ability of clients to cope in their difficulties. That allay anxieties which happen as I have about 40 cases.; some being more critical than others. Halfway, I swop supervisor. I got one whose style I can better appreciate. From her, I think I gain confident, affirmation, and whom i picked up ideas and skills from.

So far, I have shared positive things. Are they any negative ones over the year?
Yes! Definitely!

Piling recording, sense of helplessness, certain level of guilt because of inactivity, stagnation with my clients.
There are instances I am afraid of calling them because there is nothing I can do. My assessment of my clients’ situations are not well covered. I don’t possess a flair in writing (letters , assessment, appeals) to organisations, which torment clients.

I dislike the nonsensical expectation another organsation has on FSC and expect miracles to happen between people family members). I dislike the fact that summons and fines are given to families WHO GENUINELY CANNOT PAY their bills. It’s like pouring petrol onto person on fire and telling him to quicky extinguish the it by searching a fire extinguisher. While I must say that some clients are at fault for their miscalculation of funds but the fact they cannot pay remains. By pushing them to pay hefty instalment would only contribute stress for them.

U see, family first or family as the first line of defence is our society's philosophy as a result its socio-economical-political environment. Many helping hand- sigh...too many cooks spoil the broth! Don't they get it!

It’s like the message of procreation, marriage and fathering. How can we expect families to involve fathers when they need to work long hours to earn a meagre income? No work=no income. Long hours NOT= to higher income. Futhermore expecting mothers who are stressed-up caregiver to nurture children with love.

Parents with baggage would also lack parenting skills to bring up their children. Not aware that they need to grow with their children would isolate their children from them. Increasing cost of living in Singapore is also a factor to consider. On one hand, married children are encouraged to take care of their parents, and when they do that, they probably do not have enough for their children.

I can only sympathise and unable to empathise their hardship.

Employment. We learn in econs that low labour cost is attractive. IF Singaporeans are to take them up, are they able to support their family? Foreign workers. Apart from the usual complaints about “Singaporeans losing job to foreign workers”, the foreign workers happen to occupy flat units where Singaporeans could have used it as temporary homes. But some singaporeans have to turn to void decks, beaches, friend’s house, or expensive unit on the open market. Anyway, I dun major in econs. I got C for it.

@ times, I feel angry FOR parents, angry AT parents because of their child’s ill-discipline but I cannot show them my true colour but can only convey certain therapeutic message behind the code of ethics and approach them professionally. I wish I could also scold and wake some parents up too.

These are some struggles.

Over the past 50 odd week, I think I sorta have an understanding how I cope, how I do certain things, how I don’t do certain things. Eg. I need a extended break from work every 6 months. I need to get away from clients, from workdesk, theories, shared folders, work emails.

I am, but, a young shoot in this sector.

I think I welcome my 2nd year where children, youth, pp with financial hardship, housing issues come look for me.

Wait and see.

happy birthday william

2010-06-11T01:29:00.002+08:00

25 years of life. quarter of a century young.

first of all, i was touched and plesantly surprised that faith has arrange a surprise for me. it's the first time she did such thing. I am satisfied... During my absence from singapore due to my church camp, she sacrifiiced her rest, time, sleep to prepare my beautiful gift creatively and also thoughtfully. I Love you. faith, thank you for going the extra mile!

I thought for the first half of my life, i was a little boy:pre-pubertal.
I was competitive, said to be more matured that my guy peers, a little short dude who is quite a social butterfly. I thought English was a damn difficult subject to study, followed by Science while Maths and Chinese was a breeze. Thank God for photographs i rmb that i participated in SYF twice, had 2 art work on exhibition in school, conducted my pri sch choir during an event (i stood on a bench cos i was not tall enough the back row to see me), i was in several activities...in and outside of school.

i looked by seeing myself trying to fit into a hapsening group. hahaha..peer group influence... i rmb my mum would comment that if i had listened to her and played bball then, i wouldn't be at my height but would be taller.

Come to think about that, life was quite simple...then again (sigh) it's not fair to say that because i was negotiating my lifestage with limited ability.

2nd half my life till now became more colourful. If stage 1 was foundational building, stage 2 was building of walls, painting of walls, re-painting of walls, washing of walls, decorating the rooms... then whitewash it... then going through renovation... the next 12 years was a ride!

it was more complicated and colourful but one that led influence and impact my life now.

secondary sch-college-NS-grad.
self doubt, envious, writ, determination, playful, socialable, confusion, acceptance, pride, stress achievement, finding one's strength, relationships, difficult exams, strange tutors, tutor-friend, mission trips, church, Christ, life, purpose, baggages, hurt, tears, fears, confidence, disappointment, love, etc.

The 2nd half of my life... the 2nd 12, so many things had come to pass... some are history while some are writing its history now..I cannot imagine how quickly it has been. i was 1, then 12 then 25 years on earth.

reviewing my life now hur...

very soon, i'll turn 27 then 30 then 32 then 35...then late 30s... then 45, then 48... how about half a century young?haha..by then, i guess i won't be blogging but i hope i would be reflecting, sharing with my loved ones about how my first 25 years on earth has been and how the 2nd 25 years are like... and what my hope for tmr would be...

happy birthday william =D

before the reflection

2010-05-24T01:47:00.005+08:00

it's incredible how faith is believing in the things unseen. yet it's not an empty sortoff promise and hope. recently, i submitted a few things to God and prayed and hoped for a direction and clarity and praise to Him, i know what to do/not to do.

I had wanted to "test"/"modify"/"shortchange" the revelation but there was no peace.

I had peace and assurance when i repented and acknowledge that i should obey Him. It's how interesting and real that I have a God who is a Person would "play" tug-of-war" with me. or should i say, allowing me a choice at the end of the day whether or not to obey and will be blessed by Him.

There were more opportunities for me to bring up certain topics with chek! and i think those times were excellent because they got us talking about serious stuff seriously.

Anyway guys! i went for my first ever marathon since my NSF days! I went for National Vertical Marathon 2010. 63rd stories! No structured training and i finished it in 21min 39s. I'm proud of myself -it's the "i can complete this" spirit! I plugged into a MP3 player and (ingenious idea!) got to the top at the end of the 5th song - You are not alone!! haha... thanks dear for waiting for me downstair!

I was sharing with CK that the jungle confidence course was the ultimate mind-stretching cum physically-enduring experience i had gone through. That yr, i literally gave up! i didn't complete it. My mental strength was stretched and burst and there isn't one more other thing that goes as near as that! I shared that because the second half of the climb, i became incerasingly shaqqed out and alicia keys was singing "Fallin'"- not helpful! =( and the last 15 to 10 stories it was mind over body le wor.

Before the day of climb, chek and i went to explore the Southern Ridge! woot!

We wanted to check out the ridge in Feb/Mar and due to many many interruptions and functions, we only there last sat!

I thought we could complete the entire route from marang trail (harbourfront) to kent ridge park and make a u-turn for a dinner at the coffee shop at harbourfront... but wrong wrong wrong! i under-estimated the time needed to appreciate the journey! nonetheless, we ended our 3.5hrs of walking, talking, shooting, jumping, admiring, laughing, holdingofhands, eating kuehs&drinking water, icecreaming, wowing at hortpark and uturning to alexandra arch to take bus to bugis for dinner! woot! thank God for keeping the sky clear! Check out FB! i'll upload SOME pics there!

heard of the ninja warrior~!~! Japanese reality prog rite! check this out! http://www.velocityurbanattack.com/landing.html

two other friends who are fitter than i am very daringly asked if i am interested to join not! and i am going to! =D yippee. preliminary group in late june and i know my class would be supportive of us!

before that, beginning of june is church camp! i'll be away for short short while!

hopefully i can get some rest! =D really real rest!

2010-05-13T02:19:00.001+08:00

one year is coming

really, for my friends who still visit...for ur sake...i write.

2010-04-08T01:56:00.003+08:00

Many things have happened in my life since i last posted here.
partly inspired by cher's postings as well as sally's as well..., i think i'll write a bit..
first, like what xiongkun said, i passed my ippt... i got the $100 incentive. it was below expectation though as my running was 12.14min for 2.4km.
But the weather was mercilessly hot!

i wonder where u guys have the energy and motivation to cont writing... esp about work and in continuous writing style. I have inertia as a result of doing recordings, writing letters to hdb, court, tc, foundations. sianz.

last 1.5 months was one of the stressest periods i think chek and i have. like she put it, the outcome would be either we make it or break it... the aftermath of that period is being processed and taken care of. crisis 危机 can have the potential to strengthen a couple provided that both are willing to address it with the similar lens/value. faith and i are tog still...no need to panic.

do u know i am in a soccer team too! i play the RB. i suck really. i dun seem to excel in most activities i am in. we are playing in the agape cup, it's a inter-church soccer league and we are not formed to win competitively. so far we let in more than 10 goals in 4 games. i see soccer as fun, playing fifa on xbox is better, but competition and winning... my standard not there la... but i'm still in first XI.

guess some of u would also know that i'm in heartdrive, my band. i sing. i dun sing well... yet i dun go for vocal training. i guess i dun have the level of committment to actually do that and i admire andrew and ryan who are doing that. My band has to change its name as we have been informed by a USA band who had registered themselves as heartdrive with a registry so as we are preparing for the second album, my band is also thinking of a new id.

my work, thank God isaac has joined me at sk. I enjoy his presence and company. so pleased to have a brother in christ in the same place. I like his firmness and interesting perception on matters. i actually enjoy going networking sessions, seminars and courses with him... can talk about work view, bgr, church and other relationship. Man-to-Man support in office. Yayness.
I'm glad i know him and hope i can know more as the days past.

i cannot not compartmentalise things and occurances in my life.. for there are so many little dynamic things i experience...

there are some things i need to fast and pray and seek peace... till then.

fong, cher, sally, sam and chek and evan...thx for popping by.
for those i've missed out...thx for checking it up...
drop me a msg or something =)

improving!

2010-02-22T23:55:00.001+08:00

great!
the training regime at Bedok FCC is helping me to regain my fitness!

hope to share good news on sat!

2010-02-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

fit vs not-so-fit

2010-02-03T00:05:00.002+08:00

as i had signed up for national vertical marathon, i started training.
i climbed 28th storey one friday w/o warming up but cooled down.
the following day i was limbing slightly alr as my left calf was pulled.
On Sunday, I was prayed for...
and the following day i went for F-IPT: flexible ippt prepatory training.
It was a CAT test (CAT Y)

I haven't done such test since ORD in 2005.
RESULT: FAIL! 18 points
SIT UP: 40
SBJ: 223cm...
CHIN UP:10
SHUTTLE RUN: 10.0s
2.4km: 13:09min. :\

thank God i persevere all the way esp with my left calf pulled a few days b4 and completed the test. My muscle was slightly sore aft that.
haha...i'm still amused and appalled that i failed the test... =

so i aimed to buck up my 2.4 to <12 mins on the official test... slow and steady arh..
so with small improvement come sense of victory and rolling success...
now i hit 12min30s...

so no more training fro v-marathon until i pass ippt.

so i fixed my exam date to be on the 27th FEB...
ultimate target:
RESULT: PASS!
SIT UP: 40 ----> 42
SBJ: 223cm...---->230cm
CHIN UP:10 ----> 10
SHUTTLE RUN: 10.0s (maintain)
2.4km: 13:09min. :\ (ahem... sub-12)

Evan Almighty

2010-01-25T23:25:00.000+08:00

OK! I got to type this in after watching Evan Almighty. I always thought this is a comedy but I teared. Revelation and reminder I guess.

See, Evan, a new congressman, wants to change the world. God KNOWS he wants to change the world. He sent wood to Evan and wanted him to build an ARK. God wanted Evan to build an ark when the state was experiencing the warmest season of the year.

God chose him, amongst 6billions children whom He created, not because he was special, though he was in a position to influence. I think what made him stood out was he prayed to God to help him change the world. Yes, include God in your plan. (verse)

I started to think “if God had spoken to Evan, would He speak to Jones (Evan’s wife)? Does He need to convict her that building an ark was an OPPORTUNITY for her family to grow closer?” He did. He reminded that when we pray for patience, we are unlikely to receive patience, but OPPORTUNITIES to be trained.

I thought also that Noah must have been severely misunderstood and ridiculed by his friends, colleagues, peers, relatives. His family members could have found him crazy and threw glances of disbelief in many many occasions. It must have been very difficult for Noah. By faith, he obeyed God.

It was from a particular part of the show that I got touched by God.

That was when the animals walked in pair by pair into the ark when Evan raised his staff. How marvelous was that? ALL, as in ALL of the animals obeyed Evan, not because he spoke the animals’ languages but God gave us authority over creatures and off course, God was moving them too. He created them after all. ( I was not very convinced when I saw the polar bears but the point wasn’t that I guess. Instead, it meant that God had His way to summon animals to one place at a time when He wants to). 上帝掌握如此巨大的权威啊！

When Evan advised the camera crew, Evan’s neighbours, colleagues to board the ark, they laughed at him, calling him names, ridiculed and make fun of God. I tried to see parallel in Jesus’s crucifixion in this but cannot really put words to it yet.

The cops who were there to see that Evan’s ark was demolished were referred to as the wolves. “Ha!” I thought! I got nervous too, when precipitation didn’t occur. HOW COME no rain! 3 mins to demolishing of the ark!2 mins and counting! What was God doing? Rain came at the moment when the metal ball was to be swung at the ark. My heart skipped beat! “FINALLY!” it’s going to flood. What he predicted would come to pass!

Then it stopped. Evan remembered that there was something wrong with the dam. It was going to burst.

The reason why God wanted an ark to be built was to save His people. The reason why God wanted an ark to be built was not to drown pp, destroy them but it was an act of love. God was protecting his people as a result of men’s sin. I cannot fathom the love He had for those ppl In this film, it was a Congressman Long’s greed for money and profit. Even when men was laughing at Him, he was ready to save them. He didn’t force them to repent or to listen to Evan but gave them all a choice to follow. Very much like Jesus’s death on the cross to pay for our sins and iniquities, He did that even though when pp was humiliating Him.

Only two of any types of animals were selected to board the ark. But He made space for all, not two , but ALL people who turned back to Him. What privilege. GRACE. EVERYONE, those who laughed and mocked at Him, at Evan, the wolves (police), the sinners,those that you think do not deserve a space in there, those who knew not what they were doing, by-standers were INVITED into His ark.

It’s the gospel. It’s the Good News. I am lost for words that because of Men’s choice (Adam and Eve) that led to Sin, God has always been there for us. Sometimes near, sometimes far but He was always there. Only those who repent and see themselves sinners and believe that Jesus came to save us will have eternal life with God.

The story of Noah’s ark is really not cute cute sweet sweet one but more of God loving us, really.

Langkawi 28th Dec to 1Jan 2010

2010-01-20T01:58:00.009+08:00

For me, going to LKW was a rest well deserved. I totally enjoyed myself there less the incidents with the polis. My rented car needed a quick fix too. haha... Each dinner there was delicious. They were like rewards to ourselves at the end of the days. Pizza on the first night, Korea bbq on the second, Grilled seafood on the third and local cuisine at a pub on the last night. All were places that were recommended by guide book from lonelyplanets while one was chanced upon.

Above: At Artisans. (Along Cenang Beach)

Above: At the korean restaurant beside langkasuka beach resort. It's called han kok kwan (韩国馆)Above: At the sandy beach resort restaurant. (Along Cenang Beach) Above: pub-styled. Rafiss. (Along Cenang Beach)

O'er there, I marvelled at God's creation. The nature aspect. The setting of sun, the countless sands on the beach, the shapes of the hills, valleys, the lake, waterfall and the stars when i looked up the sky at night.

Taken outside sandy beach resort (Along Cenang Beach)
Taken on the second day morning. at langkasuka beach resort.

The waterwall is near the 7 wells.I played around... this one is at the Dayand Bunting

Thx to Ryan, we stayed at langkasuka. S$25 per person per night in dec.

Thx to Val and Jon who joined chek and i for the 5D4N relax trip. we got to know about each other.

Thx to both of our mothers who gave us ringgits and at the end of the day, we spent about S$150 each entirely.

Thx for covering for me my fellow colleagues as they covered for me while i was away.

Lastly, most importantly, thx for being my beloved... and having fun tgt o'er there...with me.

(At the cable car top station)

of anxiety, probation and death

2009-12-08T01:06:00.002+08:00

Pre-break anxiety
Someone in the office described my anxiety as pre-break anxiety. As some of you would know that I am clearing my leaves and is going overseas during the last week of December, back only on New Year Day. During the second half of this month, I wouldn’t be in office. If so, I would be clearing the backlogs =(, closing cases: summary report =(, prepare my covering officers and informing my clients too. And so, I am refraining from putting sessions then, thus packing my first half of December rather insanely packed. There are extensions, fresh application to the FA, as well as writing request letter to foundations on behalf of clients so as to enable them to cope financially, hmm, how about speaking to people ranging from daughters of client to helpful CDC officers and also other fellow workers in the field.. How can I forget about some whom I need to call and first appointment, follow ups. There seem to be millionz and one things to accomplish before my break. I yearn for the break even more.

Probation period
I am coming to an end of my 6 months probation. It is interesting to know that I do not have a namecard to represent me when I am bonded to this FSC when some of my peers have gotten theirs during the first 3 months of work.

I figured that I probably take a week long break every half a year. I started on 15th June, to be confirmed on 15th Dec. I have a week plus break end of Dec. Next year June, it’s church camp. I think if this break was to re-energise me, that church camp would probably serve that purpose too. And Dec 2010, I’ll take another long break. What an interesting prediction.

During this 6months, I was exposed to people’s lives. Negative ones off course and I was taught to draw the strength and drop the negative. Amplify their resources and strength. I picked up useful skills from a worker and she remained one of those workers whom I would be marveled when I see her being so encouraging to her clients. I was exposed to the people’s requests which are mainly triggered by environmental problems, structural policies that inevitably safeguard the majority of the people, causing these marginalized people even more sidelined. However, I am privileged to be part of some of their lives. Others, I’m afraid that I may cause more difficulties/concerns/barriers due to my inexperience, limited knowledge and skills.

During this 6 months, I realized that colleagues can be irritating yet fun loving at the same time.

During these 6 months, I have yet to realize that that a home visit kit is important and there is such thing call the “carbon memo”. HUH! I am quite apprehensive about my level of competency and knowledge about process from i/r level to case closure.

I am reflecting that whether I am using social work skills and knowledge or more of common-sense, lay-man skills and knowledge. Is there much to loss if I use more of latter than the former. What is the objective of using the former instead of the latter? Would that objective be met even so when the latter is used?

I was asked who is the client? Apparently, I swept aside SW4101’s knowledge. The answer: the FAMILY, not just the father, the grandfather, mother or cousin, it’s the FAMILY. I was quite disappointed la.

Last Tuesday, I was suddenly reminded why I chose social work. I haven’t felt motivated by that particular reason as I work. I chose to do social work because I come from a happy family and I desire to make that happen to my clients. NAÏVE?/IDEAL? Have I lost that part of my passion and social work is just connecting people to community resources? Cos I nv really been an advocate. I hope that break may spur me on.

Death
Last week, I almost attended 3 funeral, if not for the untimely notice.
1 was the grandma of a colleague who accepted Jesus as Lord 3 months b4 meeting the Lord. Hallelujah!
1 was one of my pastoral staff in church. He is Rev Sunil A, a Sri Lankan minister who probably has led the largest, if not one of the largest, Sri Lankan congregation in Singapore. A man who, when convicted, will pursue all the way. God planned His race and the story line that Christ has written for him came to an eventual end as a result of a battle with brain tumour that lasted 7 months. I remember him as a kind and sincere man who preaches of “His Grace and Mercy…”
1 was one of my elderly folks in the Chinese ministry. He battled with cancer also and has went home to be with the Lord. He is childless though he was married and has been taken care of his nephew. Initial request to baptize ah-gong met with disagreement. Later on, 4 days before ah-gong passed away, ah-gong’s nephew agreed to have him baptized.

Recently, a 5yr old girl was knocked down by an oncoming car along Edgedale Plains. She wouldn’t have survived that hit. She flew 80m. Her grandparents from China are devastated that their granddaughter would die shortly after they arrive here to look after her.

To me, the passing on little ones cause me more grief than older pp because older pp would have seen more, hear more, experience life more than younger ones. Then, would one have really live life to full purpose when one lives a ripe old age. All of us have life purpose. When that purpose is achieved, then God is ready to bring him home.

That said, Ps Sunil passed on at aged 51, MJ too. I was reminded that my dad is 51 this year. I was griped with fear for the fact that my dad may pass away in years to come and at the same time thankful that he is still alive despite his high BMI, HPB and osteoporosis. I am thankful that my parents and sisters are alive. They are still warm when I touch them and not cold icy like those who are dead. I try as much as possible to communicate with them. I cannot possibly imagine that extent of grief I would experience if any of my immediate family member was to passed away.

Last year, Ms Lo Hwei Yen was Singapore first victim to terrorist attack. She died in her 20s in Mumbai, miles from home, miles from her husband. Yet their heart beat as one. The Straits Time interviewed her husband one year on. He’s still devastated, unable to fully walk out of the shadow of death. I was sad, for him. It’s scary/tragic/heart-breaking to lose someone you love so so suddenly. I wouldn’t want that to happen to me. Nobody wants that. I actually am afraid to lose someone so dear.

Death, like many other milestones, is significant to human. I’ve been through, major exams, BMT, OCS, 21st birthday, people’s wedding, graduation, first pay-roll, first kiss. There are many others events that I can be part of …but there is something about parting from those you love, cherish, even for a lil, it hurts.

And I think I would experience that in the years to come, won't u?

my gf is faith

2009-11-24T01:46:00.005+08:00

Congratulation Faith.

On 15th Nov, Faith shared her testimony in the presence of the congregation, some of them were made up of ah-gongs and ah-mas of the Chinese Ministry.

I was equally excited and thrilled by the support which she has with the elderlys.

1 best fren, 3 college fren, brother and mother were guest whom she invited to witness a spiritual milestone at church. O so THANNNNNNNNNNK YOU LORD!

oops. what is ur baptism verse?

I was recalling mine and i FORGOT! oops.

then i rmbered there was a word "faith"/"race" in it.

so i went to check my certificate. and once again, it was a reminder from God that ....

"11But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."- 1tim6:11-12

OH MY GOODNESS...

another fresh prayer request/confirmation has seemed to be answered! @@

食福满人间

2009-11-24T01:37:00.002+08:00

just a quick update.
i broke my week of monotony last week by going mediacorp.
was recording for a gameshow which has started last sun at 9pm.
chek, myself and pearline went onto 3 different episodes.
catch us on tv to know what happened.

thing is we are not very certain when our episodes are aired.

节目名称
Title《食福满人间 VII》
Let’s Party with Food VII
演员 / 主持人
Cast / HostMarcus Chin 陈建彬 , Brandon Wong 黄炯耀 , May Phua 潘淑钦
播映日期与时间
Show Time & Date自11月22日起，每逢星期天，晚上9点
Starting 22nd Nov,Every Sun,9pm
集数
No. of Episodes: 8

这是一个富有趣味，斗智力和考体能的游戏节目。节目是由4组参赛，每一支队伍各由一名参赛者与一位艺人组成。参赛队伍必须在各单元竞赛中，争取好的表现，才能过关斩将，成为整晚游戏的赢家，夺得丰富的奖金。

“Let’s Party With Food” is back for the 7th season! Hosted by Marcus Chin, Brandon Wong and May Phua, contestants and guest artistes this season have to work hand-in-hand to overcome numerous obstacles to emerge as the overall winner to win fantastic cash prizes.

carebear!!!

2009-11-11T00:31:00.001+08:00

i trust those who are of my generation would know of these bears.
long time fav! so sweet!

woot!
carebear power!!!!
WOOOOOSH!!!
catch the rest of the movies on youtube!

thanks cher for putting up this video...

2009-11-07T02:13:00.000+08:00

ministered by His words and songs

2009-10-30T08:46:00.003+08:00

i thank God for guiding me to spend time being quiet in the morning when i have the space to worship and pray (aloud, if i want to) at office.
I spend at least 40hrs at work at my cubicle... 40 outta 188hr a week... that's about a fifth of my time... yar, so i see importance in praying and spending with Him here.

previously, i had a log of some of the excellent entries in daily bread and our daily journey (both from www.rbc.org.) but since the items from my desktop went missing, i did not do up another list.

today, i visited the website again and i am reminded there is similarities between the God who created us and us... how when we place value on certain item, we would want to pursue it/him/her/them... God spoke about the parables of the lost coin, sheep and son. How mericful and loving is our Shepherd who loves each one of us, regardless of the blemishes, brokeness and pain we have cause Him.
For us, when we place certain importance/value in an item, we would run helter-skelter searching for it when we misplace them...like ur HP (duhzz), ur cross, ur photo album, ur bible or ur pillow.

what are mere mortals that you should think about them,
human beings that you should care for them?
Yet you made them only a little lower than God

another thing that i like to share is a quick reminder from God through reflection.
first of all, i need to acknowledge that He who ministered to me through worship song is indeed a LIVING God who meets me at my point of need.

I am, but, a social worker who would attempt to meet my clients at their point of need.
So there was this particular night when I met my client who seek help in dealing with youth.
I ended off that night quite irritated. I wonder, "How come arh...why so angry...".
Do i want to solve their problem more than they do; what if i cannot help; what if thing doesn't turn out how we/i/they want?

Then, this line from stood out " glory to you, when i change their life"... prob this is not the exact line.

I will give God the glory when the lives of my clients change, ar changing, have changed.
The FA they got, the rental units they are in, the temporary shelters they are placed in, the understanding and empathy they receive during session, the tears they shed AND the FA they did not get, the accomodations they fail to obtain, the rejections they got from some organisation, the apparent mis-understanding during sessions, all glory and praise to God.

and so as i work in the lives of pp, may God work in my life so that i can be a channel of blessing, be a different worker. a Christian social worker who imitates God instead of a social worker who is a Christian. I am not the one who changes their lives. It is Him.

and with that, i am comforted.
and that's when my need was met.

the unusual client type

2009-10-27T23:58:00.002+08:00

this evening, i had my first taste of dealing with youth.
was the air-con too cold for my comfort? how come i felt my leg shaking...
was their communication (or the lackoff it) the beginning of the problem... have they forgetten how to respect each other and to others? i didn't stop them from using their handphone. i should have. i will lay down rules next time if they come down again.

maybe it was the first session- that's why i didn't "instruct" them.
maybe it was the first session- i should have laid down my rules.

did i get emotional in there?

i know i was firm...firmer than usual...

"when i speak to her, u zup in; when i speak to you, she zup in; that's not very respectful...i could have interrupt you two when u speak... did i?!"

"did i interrupt you when either of you was using the phone?NO!, that would be disrespectful!"...

"i dun wanna to be the middleman...it's not easy to be the middle man...try becoming one and u know it's not the best position to be in, so i would like both parties to tell each other."

guess what,
one more child behaviour/parenting/non-fin client tmr.

matt7-11

2009-10-13T15:24:00.002+08:00

as i'm thinking about our plan, i saw this verse 3x in the last 60hrs

Matthew 7-11:
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

amen

prevention to better than cure - share with those u love.

2009-10-13T15:21:00.005+08:00

Also, i read from the Straits Times a few days ago that women from 50-65 would receive a letter to invite/remind them to do mammogram. i forget it's at a subsidised rate or foc.

mentally tiring

2009-10-12T14:13:00.003+08:00

THIS IS NOT A PSLE QUESTION LAaaa..
apparently hardworking alone is nv enough.
add a bit of grace.
that makes a lof of difference.

"Jim bought some chocolates and gave half of it to Ken. Ken bought some sweets and gave half of it to Jim. Jim ate 12 sweets and Ken ate 18 chocolates. The ratio of Jim’s sweets to chocolates became 1:7 and the ratio of Ken’s sweets to chocolates became 1:4. How many sweets did Ken buy?"

anyone wanna crack their brain for the above question?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just came back from lunch.
brain-wrecking one. mentally stimulating.
i haven't such conversation for some time.

"...plant seeds. pp will harvest..."- thx dear...
i hope so too

hero

2009-10-07T03:07:00.003+08:00

and so... i watched episode 1 and 2 of Heros (Season 4) to destress...at least it gets my mind off worrying, pondering, speculating.

and i hope u are sleeping well and wake up feeling even better...

i sure hope u can sing for the wedding, u can get used to the job asap, or something else improves... and

i'm regretfully sorry

stressors

2009-10-07T00:50:00.002+08:00

my beloved has started work and we are in a transition together.
*stressed*
I am learning to give thanks for short mins and thank God we are still tog ... after 37 months...

my caseload has increased tremendously. i have yet to do intake for about 8clients.
*stressed*
haha! i'm in for a high-time. This only accounts a fraction of the supposed 50clients per worker ratio.

my case-recordings are piling. 6-7 undone. and i dun like to do up the assessment column.
*stressed*
Oh! maybe i need to keep my recording as short and effective as possible. maybe a different way of working in the near future.

was entrusted to take charge to prepare a 10mins skit on vol appreciation night in dec.
*stressed*
thanks for over-estimating my ability. I see how i can practice my archery.

changing supervisor (another transition)
*stressable yet excitable*
arhhh......RICOLA.... AAAHHHH....

little supervision time.
*stress-free for now, but what impact does it have on me in the future*
cannot seemed to be bother with the supervision record le la!

do you rmb?

2009-10-07T00:38:00.002+08:00

yes, this post was meant to be uploaded last week.

There was an incident during a post-session consultation with a mentor.
As i was sharing what occured during session and how shicked i was when a married man
did not remember/know the DOB of his wife and children, my mentor reflected if my values and belief had affected my assessment.

subtle but true.

yea it had.

to me, i want to be aware and rmb as particulars of my love ones. They do come in useful in crisis. Was i influence by anyone? my dad perhaps. He knows and is knowledgeable and my mum feels safe and happy.
to me, it was natural to remember the i/c, tel, address, bday, even bloodtype of those who are important and precious. if u can't, at least attempt to.
Up till now, i still need time to fig out the alphabet on her ic, her postal code...

Having such information makes applying "things" (to put it broadly) faster and easier. Can you imagine searching for the person's IC when you are questioned during emergency blood transfusion.

After that, i think maybe a good number of men do not remember such details.
and i think i am in a minority.

flashback

2009-10-07T00:27:00.002+08:00

been wanting to note this down since last week.

recently i was reading a blog and in it mentioned how life goes on and how it needed to go on. it was a good read. reflective in itself and how in each stage, God has been displaying His faithfulness and grace upon her life.

then, i saw this 6mins video on fb and it got me reminising... it was a reminder of how a friendship had developed into something different and then got disrupted..AND LIFE STILL WENT ON... and now things have come to past.

Yes, life went on... and the 6mins video was poignant.

zee-avi!!! woot. tune in to her bitter heart!

2009-09-25T12:13:00.001+08:00

ENJOY

2009-09-23T14:14:00.000+08:00

2009-08-18T19:03:00.002+08:00

boss encouraged me that night.
very glad.

saw these two videos.
very sweet and funny.

reinstated the rules.
may He be honoured.

slowly getting the rhythm of managing my workload.
maybe cos not many cases are assigned to me.
but i think it's God who is looking over me.

first long weekend. =D

2009-08-10T22:51:00.004+08:00

nice holiday.
first long weekend.
no mps. more time with family and dear.

my long weekend started on friday.
watched the movie UP with my CG. woot!
There are two parts in the movie that touched me the most.
the front part where Carl and Ellie met and grew old.
next would be when the Carl realised Ellie's meaning of adventure!
sigh... reminded me how i love to have such moments with my darling.
when i saw that part, i went 'OHH'...and apparently chek heard me and asked me "what!"...

so unromantic! haahahah just kidding =D

anyway, the highlight on sat was the gathering with the DHS choir folks.
it's always funny and fun to catch up. this time round, there were two new faces- kane and wjie.
seems that thus we had more gathering =D

sunday was fun! chek and i went to whitelink and had our photoshoot. We bought this studio photo shoot package with them last yr and chek and i agreed to use it to take when i grad. so tada! i see if i can upload a couple of pictures to show u....if not, well...i can show some of u the album. the photos are lovely!!! chek and i had a severely difficult time choosing 20 outta about 60 pictures... all this from 12noon to 4pm!

this yr ndp was quite special.
relational, historical, musical... interactive too! we have mark lee and suhaimi acting live... vernetta lopez and barbarella aka michelle...the special ops force walking up where the audiences were seated, heartlanders and overseas singaporean making their appearance on the big screen via telecommunication! wow! dance from the 80s, 90s by the ITE students, usually marginalised group of dancer called the pole-dancer, baskers contributing their talents as well as using hand signage so as to let the deaf get the message. how about the Pledge moment at 8.22pm. (chek and i did that; edwin did that too; my 9 yr old cousin joined in at marina my sister too at city hall mrt station)...
good job Brigadier General Tan Chuan Jin!

welcome monday! and i need not work. yippee!
cleaned up my room. thanks dear for helping.
no mps. heh.
met up with my paternal relatives...celebarted birthdays as well.
happy birthday to jeralyn and ah-ger.

and back to work tmr...
hmmm

do not hide. you are not what u do

2009-07-31T09:36:00.000+08:00

blessing

2009-07-20T11:38:00.002+08:00

thank God i start work at 1230hrs on every monday.
or else i would have felt real tired when waking up after a day of fun and fellowship on Sunday.

july 8th 2009 (789)

2009-07-11T23:25:00.000+08:00

More of You and Less of me

life after 15th june 2009

2009-07-11T23:01:00.003+08:00

a few has indicated to me the below video has blocked the tag board so here i am blogging, in the most rare occasion, motivated to pen down thoughts in this space here.

i dunno why, i dun seem to be motivated to blog. Could it be fatigue from work? or just that i dunno how to put across my thoughts. a fren has successfully privatised her blog, or should i say opened a new blog site so that entries can be starkly honest.

initially, i thought that i set up a new blog to
1. be starkly honest with the ups and downs about my life now... which is spent in the office most of the time.
2. be one that is a platform for thanksgiving.
3. signify the new phase of life.

I haven't yet acted on the new blog but since i'm already writing now, why now just pour out some stuff..

I thank God for a good-paying job. one that he called me to do. one which i responded to. It is my calling then.
In this calling, called social work, i strive to show His love through service and actions- to colleagues, clients and the pp whose paths i walked on.
I pray that i can keep that in perspective.

i work in a friendly and new estate called sengkang, compassvale walk.
it's a stone throw from compasspoint, a pleasant place i've yet to grown bored of. in fact, i'm excited there's so many goodies there! woots! =D
I work night shift on tuesday from 1230 to 930pm. wed-fri are 9-6pm. monday's special cos i am tasked to be at mps weekly for sessions. it's to build rapport and est network which facilitate in set up of the satellite centre. I nervous and excited bout being in this 'new' team.
(here is it- how much can i reveal?...)

i love weekends. i love to put ALL my work and shit in the office so that my presence can be all for non-work things. hahaha... non-work related stuff are like fun, eat out, slack, no case recording, no assessment for client...
i love to know that i can meet my darling after work, meet with BAG pp and spend time kb-ing about work or just doing what we like to do...spending time with each other.

weekend comes and goes quickly. PHs are rarity. thank God i have Him to count on for eternal rest.

a few challenges: 1. differing approaches and perspective between me andsup. postmod vs structural fam approach.
2. no prayer group already there for lf and i to join. (that fri, we met... quite fearful... cos it's not practised there...i felt like a daniel from the OT. )
3. inadequate in case recordin and social assessment report as i feel i am not given enough training during sw3103.
4. limited free time to slot in sessions for clients...cos i need to coord withsup.

likes: 1. the familiarity with the colleague as i had volunteered b4 for money matters ; 2. lf and i are siblings in christ ; 3. happsening colleague; 4. chance to be a blessing to those ard me 5. near compasspoint; 6. 35-45mins to office... inclusive of dad driving me to bus stop to take 27.; 7. honours class support group...

i leave you with a statement i've heard recently
~there's no such things as correct or wrong; it's just different. See if there's anything fits...~

2009-07-03T01:59:00.000+08:00

very fast...1st-3rd...and beyond...

2009-06-03T22:43:00.008+08:00

it's june.

very quickly, i'll be working and i am excited becos i can start working. at this pt, i am looking fwd to traveling to skfsc and working. I wonder how long this zeal can last. Will fatigue and disinterest drop by? Absolutely? Do i have pp whom i can talk to and consult? I hope i have. My Father God says He will be with me.

Will you be there?

1st june started meaningfully as i spent time with CK. we chatted and shared. I like the idea of mentoring and guiding pp. I like to see myself doing it without any title given to me, if not, i think i may be stressed. that's an area to work on.

How can one who eats vege all the way take meat suddenly? (private joke!?) one is used to his or her style, the pattern...so things take time. Sometime my interaction with a particular helps me feel and think the way another person may feel and think.

Do you change your style of communicating so as to join with ur client?

Do you really emphasize the person's strength and not pin-point his weaknesses? The skill is how then can one pin point one's weakness with honey and not undermine his/her strength.

Do you feel like slapping ur client or he/she is like a mule?

hahaha... random questions hor.

oh yes.... and some i continued my research for the amazing race and it was sorta done on monday! so i sat down and rested. reading my book and looking at people. waiting for time to pass. in the evening, i went to TJC to watch the power of love 2 with ed and ren. The girls from AG home have grown since i last saw them 5-6 months ago. a pity we haven't been ministering to them at AG home. Thank God for His amazing providence of cash so as to let the girls opportunities to bridge back into the society. Thank God for His grace that a handful of them have grown to become members of the public who is also contributing to its growth- in the area of sports. In the name of Jesus, May you Lord grant wisdom in the use of the donar's cash so that your name will be glorified.

tuesday, i signed my contract with ANG MO KIO FSC le. did my medical check and all. then i met dear at the tpy hub for lunch! so glad we can meet at mos for a quick lunch. after that, caught up with my mum during her lunch break.

Thank God my beginning pay is higher than expected. Hallelujah! so exciting! God is good. on this day, our 999th day, i presented the V&M gift to dear dear... and i helped her apply...so romantic i thought. and i sang her a song when it was 03062009. oops...dear, did i write the date wrongly on the songsheet?? and we laughed at it.

Today, i blogged... and met my kindergarten fren for dinner...and how unexpectedly, she treated me to dinner. hahaha...

tmr, i may be going cycling.

the day after... i have BAG...

sat, i'm attending rui's wedding...going to celebrate my bday...

sun, i will lead worship once again...

and come monday will be the chalet

all the way to thurs.

then fri celebrating my dear's birthday! taking off?! see first rite?

sat morning another wedding, and we are invited to the dinner.

one more sun and that is the eve of my DDAY.

and so...thanks everyone for reading my blog. it's been a pleasure sharing and jotting my life. my ups and downs...my growth, my stagnation, (to some, i haven't seen to change)..., my rant and my cameo moments, my proud and not so proud times. it's been an unbelievable journey from the moment i made my first entry in the Office Mess on P. Tekong one evening in 2004 to June 2009. 5 years. nice to see that a few of u still read my blog and know what's going on.

here's my class...

my dear and i

i love all of u...esp u miss ang...thanks for being the woman behind me =), giving me the support and encouragement..

we will meet again. hopefully. see u here...or somewhere...or....

25th to 31th May 2009 -4th week of break

2009-06-03T17:24:00.005+08:00

how do i do this?

i'm just stating down what happened in my life. the content is not inspiring, monotonous...

but well...i am not keen writing those stuff now...

cos one day...i just wanna look back and see what had transpired over time... and recall more positive than negative stuff. who knows... i may not leave any trace in this blogspot anymore.

so on my 4th week of freedom...

i had a date with my dad. we went to courts to purchase jude (name of my present laptop!)haha. siao rite...i actually name it. i think i learn this from chek. haha... jude is an acer and is a travelmate. much lighter than vaio. Thank God for sustaining my previous going going gon.. lappie during my last sem. It did create some panic and anxiety throughout the sem. phew! I just need to transfer the bulk of the stuff onto an external harddisk i got.(my birthday present this year!!! yay...very very very happy). so yea. date with my dad to tampines courts megastore ended with a laptop and a camera!

i had a date with my Daddy God. I wanted to do this retreat- a Day with God before university started but didn't...- result of procrastination. Thank God for His grace that i could set time apart to meet and spend time with Him that day. Ps Keith was guiding me along at the beginning and at the end. From 1000-1630, i actually spent time with Him...when i spoke, it was to Him (minus lunch break, and briefly to enoch in between sections). Prior to that, i knew i wanted to hear Him as I really need some realignment, need the time and intimacy with Him.

Praise God for He spoke to Him at the very end... " Go. I am with You. " As most would know, i an starting work soon and this job was His calling to me ... it' s my calling to be a social worker...so it is very assuring to have heard them. Thank you Abba. Also, He gave me a new song! got the lyrics down...it's modified (v1.1)when i jot it down because i couldn't remember word for word what the Spirit had led me to sing. Shall share it with heartdrive.

The Silence during the retreat was quite terok cos for one, i am cannot take silence very well...so yea... 15mins of silence...of not getting distracted and just allowing God/waiting for God to speak to me was difficult. Guess what! i slept too! and He gave me a dream to remind me that I need to read up on His words for, it not, my knowledge in the Words will not be strong and will be lacking.

i had a date with the chalet organiser.

hahaha...cherlyn got a call-back from her mum because she was in the same flight as the zero patient of H1N1 virus in singapore. She travelled from NY back that tuesday and joined me and xiongkun for meeting...but she had to leave halfway. surreal experience for me and fong man...

thank God that the cycling route, amazing race and the bbq stuff are discussed.

hopefully, those who come will enjoy themselves thoroughly and those who didn't make it would regret not coming!!! hahaha... evil.

that day, i had a date with my darling after her work. We had dinner at ajisen at bishan because she wanted to buy me a belt and a tie....SO NICE RITE!!!! i like them!!! it's to celebrate our 10th 99th day, 999th day, 1000th day and for me to wear them to work on 15th june. =D thanks dear =)

that night, i had a date with edwin,dominique and nique's wife at robertson walk. we witnessed how barcelona outplayed Manchester United, outwitted the Red Devils and took the UEFA CL Cup, denied us the 4th silverware in the 08/09 season. 2-0. sianz. then again, we didn't play well la.

i had a date with lingfang, hilyah, vincng and weibin at SKFSC. why why why! why must you appear to be that intimidating and made me rather conscious about my body language. arh!!! then again, he's nice la, so said the others. I will be working at the satellite centre at Punggol CC on tuesday; that's the first step for something great, i hope, if it's His will. He will be with me.

that evening, i had a date with Dr Nair, Jaslim and Bav at Soup Spoon at the Marketplace, Raffles City. She treated us to dinner and shared with us her beginning years as social worker. The cockroach man and how she would wake up at 5am to do her case recording....kudos kudos...

Too bad i didnt chop my card...or else i can get a free bowl of soup le la!!! Also Jaslim and I got the V&M Dead Sea natural beauty professional nail kit which consists of a body and hand cream, buffer (lifetime warranty) and a cuticle oil. that was chek's gift for our 999th day tog. V&M is the dead sea product...got sell clay, cream, lotion, etc...

i had a lunch date with darling during her lunch time at MCYS that day cos i decided to cook lunch for her. Spaghetti! yesh. glad she liked it so much...

that day, i received my results too! praise God for the grades and the second lower honours degree! 3.72- that's the best CAP i've gotten in 4 yrs in NUS. funny thing is that my 5 mods ranges from A to B-, taking a grade each. a pity my ISM got B- though. Thank God for His grace and mercy towards Chek too!!! =D i'm sure she will blog about it in due time!

i had a date with my BAG pp... good fellowship and studying of the bible! i didn't know hebrews is so chim.

i had a date with chek to go to linah's house for couple ministry! swim and dinner and bible study and food...

i had a date with a group of pp...largely from my BAG (my cell group). They were celebrating my birthday (6th), chek's bday (12th) and yingqi's bday (8th) at partyworld at liang court. that was when i received my harddisk! yay!!! i like! after that, chek, her bro and i ate at Pasta de Waraku

then Ck came to stay over...

18th to 24th May 2009 -3rd week of break

2009-06-03T14:30:00.012+08:00

third week!

MONDAY- slack, sleep, surf...hahaha...basically it's cool. i spend $0.

TUESDAY-What i could rmb was that i spent 4.5hrs from 2.30pm to about 7pm walking in Orchard BY MYSELF after lunching with chek at NUS after her tutorial.

some of you may think it's terrible to that, but really it's a different experience I thought i may have which is really the case. I didn't know there are somebody nice things to buy in Far East! (REALLYY!!!! there are!!!! ohman!)...there's a cluster of tattoo shops...something called two thumbs...or johnny two thumbs..wah.. amzing place.

then i walked ... passed hyatt then i saw janelle...then she said i looked as though i had exam and hadn't enough sleep...woops. hahaha...i slept too much la..

I went to Lucky plaza...shop the whole place, Tangs too, Wisma as well, Taka was too big for my appetite so i didn't clear that place...took a look at the ION orchard and see how much it has been built, Wheelock (the last stop).

A few highlights and surprises though.
1. i challenged myself to enter "House of Condoms" at Lucky Plaza...i walked past and turned back and went in...(yea, i did it swiftly). In there sells many interesting sex toys- boardgames as well (yes, it's 2-4 players...*eyes big big*), big, medium and small sized plastic toys!, blindfolds, handcuffs, condoms (DUH! but there's absolutely many thickness, taste (u know...one kind of pp has weird bhv..shan't elaborate...), megazines...lubricants. There's vibrators, underwear with holes at strategic places... it was really an eye-opener for me! somemore somemore, fake penis and vagina! that's terrible! and i mean it! the sales-ladies were very friendly. uh-hm, one of them approached me twice " hi sir, do you need help?" (btw, the sales-ladies are mostly filippinos) and i approached the same lady to ask what something was...

2. Do you know the Rolex centre along orchard. it's in tong building. I actually went into the building and saw Rolex repairmen working on the watches. They had to attach some microscopic lenses before repairing the watch. Small parts were taken out from packets to replace those from the customers' watches. pretty intrinsic. These worksmen wore white as though they were in a lab and they were all had to wear tie... dignifying their workmanship, i thought.

3. Paragon: that place is crazy la. the brands in there. hefty prices. burberry, The link boutique, cortina watch, etro, furla bag, Ermenegildo Zegna, Dunhill, Prada, Gucci, A/X, Aigner. basically, i'm just appalled by their extravagence and high price tags.

4. baskers!

What a day that was!

WED: That day, i went back to dhs. recently my wrote on his blog about his perceptions about some dunmanians and how he perceived them. I thought most of us really are those kind whom u would have low opinions of. it's only much later in life, then most of us transform and see education differently. oh well. let's allow some difference in pov around.

thanks ms ng and eileen... thankyou for arranging ur time to meet me and bring me around the campus. i was wowed by the changes! With so much expansion and developments and changes in the focus, i thought i must perceive DHS from a different light. haha. these days, students are different from my time. They are given more freedom and avenues to express themselves, alternatives to the one-way route. Thing is that it is still an autonomous school- govt aided as well... so the students on the IP and junior high are paying the cheap cheap school fee... and they receive such excellent facilities. let me show u!

along fort rd

first level of lib! so different and improved rite! when i walked in, i knew i can study in here like the Central Library in NUS! what u see here, is the view of the entrance from the inside.
AND the interior design: got maths corner, chinese corner...there's study rooms too

this is the second level. Btw, the old stuff room has been used by a portion of the teaching staff.

Previously, if u can imagine, was the volley ball court... behind the canteen. hope the pictures paints a thousand words.

the running track that has not been approved for running.ha.

so that day, i saw my peers who are there as teachers. in all, there are about 6 teaching at DHS- all my batch one. scary sia.
eileen: hist (upper sec); wingyee: chem (sr high); yvonne: eng; wei-er: GP (sr high); xx (oops): chinese (jr high) and yurui (shld be rite...): chem (? high)

yep! i saw ms pear, ms ling, mr chew, ms tang, ms ng, mr kiw, mrs phua, mrs kang, ms yee, mrs vora, mrs wong, mr tang.

Lalala...then FRIDAY came! and there was a mini gathering at my class. sang W-box and ate the stuff they bought. it's a small group and it was manageable and suqi suggested to do such things regularly at my place..haha..i SAY, we should do it regularly outside and visit other pp's house too on the less than regular basis!

SAT: watched Angels and Demons. Sigh. What a disappointment!

book: movie
only victtoria and dad knew about antimatter project: a team of researcher knew about it
it's victtoria and DAD who knew about antimatter: victtoria, RESEARCHER and team who knew about it.
robert was disturbed from his sleep: and not from the pool.
illuminati was faxed over: not shown by X by the pool.
all 4il prefero died: 1 survivor
robert joined carmenlango on the helicopter to dispose the antimatter: carmenlango was the lone ranger.
carmenlengo died at the balcony witnessed by thousands: not there by a few guards
the final brand was the 4 elements: crossing swords
kohler existed: kohler was non-existent
hassasin was injured in his left foot: apparently not
he captured victtoria: no way the director was gonna let them happen
victtoria and robert fought with hassasin causing him to fall off the balcony and die: hassasin had to die...but it's because his car engine exploded
victtoria wasn't properly dressed: she was

not good.
that's why chek doesn't read Harry Potter!

(copied from http://harrypotter.warnerbros.com/harrypotterandthehalf-bloodprince/)

oh yea, after that it was my dhs choir gathering at victor's house. . thanks pp, u guys still make me feel i can carry on from where we last left.

SUNDAY: day out with chek and pam... thanks for hearing me out u two!

10th to 17th May 2009 -second week of break

2009-06-02T19:54:00.010+08:00

Guess what pple, this is going to be the second week of my freedays.

Oh! prior to that monday. Sunday was mothers' day and i'm so glad to be able to celebrate mothers' day with my mum in the evening, together with linah! cos they were sitting at the adjacent table=). also on the saturday before this week, CK- chek's brother treated us to a mothers' day lunch at oasis taiwan porridge restaurant. The best thing was that we didn't even try their famous porridge. aiyo...haha

That day, chek has started her attachment at the MCYS- VFS. It wasn't very smooth at the start. Cold, i guessed, can used to describe her general experience. Thank God things are improving and she is also getting the knacks of doing things and the pp there.

OK! Monday! i told myself to slow down...why hurry... it's the holiday...there's no need to hurry...take ur time and walk... admire Creation, smell the roses and open my eyes to the greeneries around.

That day, i had a date with my pastor to go his house to play xbox! haha... i love playing the fifa09 on his xbox. i dun like to play it alone... i like to play with my bros! after that, i joined his wife and him for lunch at tiongbahru plaza at qiji! that bad!affordable! and after that, i got the chek's bag for her. It's her birthday present, given in advance because she needed something like for work!

ah! my special area group project met up at chinatown because we wanted to visit uncletu. He was featured in our project that requires us to film on any area as long as it is about disability. haha... he still rmbered as us and we were all very happy. amongst my classmates, we said this is what we shall the 老地方 which means old place. haha.. after that we proceeded to Tampines Mall arcade. There was a little girl who was following and observing us as we played the games...she had no play card so we decided to share and bless her with a play card. Her parent wasn't in sight. She wore simply. she seemed 7,8 years old but she didn't seem able to communicate to us in proper sentences. she was pointing to indicate what she didn't know or know. nonetheless, i'm truly glad that we could bless her...we truly have enough, more than enough to just lend a helping hand... and it was a joy to see her receive the gift in disbelief and smile on her face.

after that, we went to safra tampines to do archery!

there u see! this should be my best attempt from about 10m/15m away

then on thursday, i had dinner with dear dear at nihon mura. yay! meeting my darling after her work is one of the best things that happens during this break. do u think so, dear? that few hours are so precious... it's nice to see her pang-gang and wind down. After that, she got herself a bright cheery purse...it's also her bday present because her black one was beginning to give way.

One of the many things i wanted to do was to lunch with my ex-colleages at TFSC. the thursday that week, i sprung a surprise visit there and it was gr8 to see so many of them. Thank God that Connie rmbered that i was in the band even though she was away on maternity a large part of my attachment there. She says she's going to buy the album!!! this is exciting! =D thanks for the encouragement connie.

Saturday- that's the first weekend after chek started work and we went to ECP! thank you daddy for driving us there! thank God for a fine and bright weather! my darling could cycle quite well...that's good... and we saw gordan's family there too! what a surprise. actually i wanted to bring chek to chinmeichin confectionary along katong but well...they would have closed for the day. their business is very good one. in the end, we had dinner at the zichar nearby...

on sunday, i played soccer with these pp in prep for a friendly that i wouldn't be able to play cos that day is the eve of my first day of work. sounds funny rite. i cmi le la...after about 30mins, i will get breathless and have to stop at the side to regulate my breathing.

this is the team that played for the soccer-for-bible competition

4th to 10th May 2009 -first week of break

2009-05-30T14:44:00.020+08:00

hello world, i haven't written in my blog for sometime and i think i must have been very unmotivated... where are my classmates for the last 2-3 weeks... everywhere! we are no longer bounded by classrooms and NUS, instead we are all over the place- sentosa doing 21,15,9-basically gian-penging, grad-tripping at vietnam, laos, cambodia, bag-packing at bali, burma, shopping at taipei, korea, visiting brothers in japan, hk, and some river-rafting in kelantan.

i'm glad and contented to be resting, playing, praying, sleeping, youtubing, k-ing, gathering, eating, walking, and spending time with chekhui (as much as i can) in spore. u know, staying in singapore is can be expensive too when one doesn't take note of the expenditure.

haha... let me share with u some moments since after exam.

it was surreal, as i ended community paper, at kr hall on 4th may. we went to sing k at the $10 dollar deal at seah street... that was a good turnout and we had a taste of singing k as a class outside...what a way to end my exams."

"the next day was the Great Lib War... we defied the odds and filmed our morphing mements. sorry fong, i haven't helped u at all for the editing. self-inadequazy. the thing is the lib management got hold of the GLW1 footage from fb and utube, so a mrX called and asked if I could be nice to remove them from the internet. Yea, it 'has'. runners+shem went to carousel at royal plaza on scotts for a high tea buffet. thank you shem for driving us there... am very surprised u joined us.

i am very fortunate and blessed to have my dear's understanding. i didn't spend much quality time since exam ended...yes dear, u are my good darling...becos i think u accomodate to my schedule and i do think it can be unfair to you. u have been understanding most of the time. not perfect, who is, anyway? sorry i confused you at times... but really i thank God each and every moment we spend tog, just by ourselves, with friends or with family."

"at brewerkz, i had dinner with evan, chek, pam and val. it was a nice time meeting in the midst of our activities.before that, i had a yummy lunch at food for thought. had a good time shopping bugis with u...and glad i could bless u with a pair of shoes from mitju. their shoes are really nice-looking and cute."

" DND was a simple, warm, and simple affair at Safra(toapayoh). It was my privilege to put up the musical that summarises our year 4 together with lilah, shem, dara, bavani and cher. It was really last min that i decided to join them. It was really fun, though a lil stressed on the very day when we were still putting our acts tog. Nobody but you was incredible. didn't know u girls can 'move ur bodies like that'... I probably, 'wouldn't understand. It's complicated...'. Xiongkun, thank you for the song. it'll stay in my heart. Oh yes, eleen, cheryl, xk, yvoone and I walked from Toa Payoh Central to ALjunied that night from 230am to 5am. madness...but we did it. after eleen is home, we took a cab back...madness, but we we did. and because of this, i disappointed u... stupid... thank you for your forgiveness....(oh ya, i didn't take pics with any lecturer, except drvasoo.)

here are some picture taken that night.

at dara's place. all dressed to the nigh...but forgot to bring the roses!

just before the musical started...

during the musical...

the guys did "nobody but u" -wondergirls

almost the entire group of dancers!

my special group project members!

my siah, mr ong and mr fong

last class picture?! there're a few missing pp alr.

walking home...to aljunied!

"Celebrated Diana's birthday at partyworld! these are older frens i've made in NUS social work dept. they have graduated earlier and i'm glad we are still meeting up. and chek was there! she knows them too!..."

congratulation chanmin aka eliora.

slapped

2009-05-17T11:06:00.004+08:00

just felt slapped left and right.
it's been almost one year.
and i still am incompetent.

do anyone think i dun feel nerve-wrecked?
do everyone think i'm fluent with colloquial mandarin so that means i can serve in CHM without problem?
do anyone think i can sing means i can lead in worship.

sigh... God. help me treat constructive criticism properly and humility.

THINK! Probably as a general rule, don’t start songs to which you know neither the words or the tune. It just makes you look silly and distracts everyone else. (Worship Central, "How to be a worship leader without being a donkey).

almost every month, i look silly and distract everyone.
every month, i gotta thank God for my co-leader who fills in the gap.
or else, worship... could simply become warship.

perhaps

2009-05-15T15:12:00.003+08:00

seems i took an hiatus from blogging.
having another spell of writer's block.

The excitement of finishing yr4 with a bang happened and now...
there's really no more lessons, seminars, friday dress themes, and meeting with each other in school...less the commencement which will not have everyone turning up.

I miss my classmates- their warmth, their craziness, their enthusiasm, their madness and the caramedarie... the last time i had a taste of this of with Sierra Wing. Prior to that, it'll be VJ choir (which now doesn't exist alr), and well... in sec school? perhaps..

but u see, do pp come and go... is it that difficult to keep in touch because of the different schdules and paths chosen. Perhaps.
There must be a couple of ppl who consistently call for gathering to keep the class spirit going.
I did that after primary school and that effort, i guess, has dwindled off after 10years of ME organising. Everyone turns to william when it comes to class gathering.
Not too bad i think 10 years for a PRIMARY school class.

once again, i want to trust that there's something special amongst us- the graduating batch of 08/09 social work hons class. Maybe facebook is a convenient platform, if we try to just say 'hi, how do u do?' 3 months after commencement.

friendship takes effort. some of our friends are closer, while some are somewhat between an acquaintance and friend. It's quite difficult for a person like to me to know exactly who my clicks are...but well, others tell me it's that group. ok la... I like to know many pp but that's a restriction to the depth of my understanding of you. When it comes to investment of friendships, i still think knowing more and deeper of the other party is still more important.

So i will see, 3 months later...what will happen.

*ok, maybe there's no writer's block..., perhaps, i was just oo lazy*

the other day, a group of us went chinatown to meet an old fren. hahaha... the main character of my special area projet. he remembers us. that's nice...and it's nice to see old men smile bashfully. I saw chek's grandfather smile and grin while playing mahjong...I liked it. I didn't know i like to see old man go 'heh heh heh'... :). cute la. the child within them.
Then after that we went to play arcade at TM. Over there, I saw this lil girl around 7-9 years old following and observing us play... knowing that she didn't have any playing cards, the 5 of us decided to bless her with a playing card worht $X. and wow! it's so amazing to know that we just bless a girl...and that act was triggered by knowing how blessed i am to have a heavenly Father who loves who seeks and saves the lost and can bless us according to His ability.
That made my day quite special.

After that, we went archery and wow! i like to go back again!

lastly, i am learning to take things slowly and enjoy the slowness of life...
come 15th june, i will commence work and i will bade this relaxed life goodbye...

to all my friends who read this...
let's do keep in touch.

2009-05-02T01:37:00.001+08:00

you can find this on youtube. search "great library war" or on my facebook.

DO NOT QUIT – RACE ON

2009-04-28T19:21:00.003+08:00

6 more days.
that's the number of days left to my last final NUS exam which thus marks an end to academic (school) examination.
heaving a sigh of relief.

I will recall with deeep gratitude how my teachers and friends, support from church, chek and God have been throughout my study days. It's been in my mind the carious categories of educational phases... how weird that they have impacted many of our lives, at least to me.

thing is, at the end of the day, how do i utilise what i've learn to benefit the people around and myself because at the end of the end, knowledges are tools which will rust in my older days unless i sharpen it.

I haven't been posting but i'm content at the way i'm finishing this race- with positive, honest comments from friends, doing things i nv thought i can do, dare to do - running up the AS4 slope, acting on stage with friends, doing short films-Set: Cent. Lib.

I shan't write too long... there's something i like to share with you.
It's something Dr Vasoo shared with us. I thought it's one of the coolest way to end school.

"I never forgot those words . . . I learned something that day about the race. For, we are all in a race, whether we realize it or not. LIFE IS A RACE, and there is more than a physical pain in your side that you must endure if you are going to finish. When life’s pains torment your mind, spirit and heart, you must determine to not be a quitter. You must catch the wind of endurance in your spirit and even though it hurts you can’t lose HOPE or even consider giving up."

(Phil Enloe. Don’t Quit Now p.122)

in relation to the Word of God.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." - Hebrews 12:1
# why do we live, what's the purpose? is it to achieve worldly possession so that we can lose it at the days of my dying years? i know i am in this world but not of this world. I belong to the kingdom of an eternal God. and each of us do have a part in us that ponders "can i live forever?"#

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."- 1 Corinthians 9:24
# do we run for nothing? stupid rite? keep fit arh? nah, thank God i have a destination. and there's Jesus at the finishing line for me...(and you). Everyone's a winner because of His redemption for us at the cross.#

"through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" - Romans 5:2-4
"Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus" - 2 Tim 2:3
# yea, many times, i came face to face with challenges and each time He is there to help. It's through small amount of faith that we have in Christ that we know we can learn to entrust bigger things to Him. Challenges faced in school are many...and as i look back, they seem small and insignificant but i think they help with life experience and faith-building at some points. (sigh, i'm seriously doing unjust to what i really wanna say by writing in this shallow manner..haha)#

"...and of Christ Jesus our hope" - 1 Tim 1:1b
#If Christ who is a Good Teacher (whose words are somehow very credible and action widely observed) died on the cross in order for our sins to be pardoned by God did not resurrect, He cannot be an eternal Hope. Praise God for this miracle and His grace that I have come to know Him-a great high Priest whose Name is Love; Who ever lives and pleads for me.My name is graven on His hands ("Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands."-Isaiah 49:16), My name is written on His heart.I know that while in Heaven He stand no tongue can bid me thence depart.#

yes! that's what i thought of when Dr V shared with us on the last day of community module.

thank ol' man. good luck to ur research company!

<21 days

2009-04-15T01:38:00.002+08:00

21 days left

4 days to last day of official NUS lesson.

i will miss my class.

thanks class.

something happened for the first time.
I am ashamed that it happened to me.
Each time when the invigilator says not to hand in the wrong exam script, and if one did, he shall bear the consequence, something like that. i would think " how is it possible?"

NOW? i beg to differ. it has happened to me.
ISM.

I submitted my ISM last thurs. only to realise on the tuesday of the following week that I had submitted the unfinalised ISM.
my leg grew soft.
i was thinking of you.
where were u? i couldn't bear waking u up with a shock.

It's tiring to retell the story.
sigh
After i realised that! i immediately inform my supervisor, send her the updated latest ISM called ISMISMISM. It's the doc i created on the very day i submitted my ISM. but all the while my ISM doc is called ISM Body. so i printed ISM Body and handed it in.

and when i realised ISM ISM ISM was still ok in my thumbdrive. i thought,well, i can send it to my sup and ask her to look at it.
GUESS WHAT. i didn't remove the edited words in reference. those words were in red.
I slapped myself my note seizing the second chance... i could hve submitted an almost flawless resubmission. but NO.

so many details are not written but i dun care le.
i'm leavin the final decision to God who knows what's best for me. and that will be translated into the outcome of the sup and coordinators' discussion.

God's faithful! amen!

................

23 days to go

2009-04-12T00:13:00.003+08:00

hahaha... my gf is laughing uncontrollably beside me as i'm typing.
she licks my arms and she went berserkz..

YAY! thanks everyone who've been so helpful throughout the last one month or so.

2 more assignments to go.phew

what a run...what a race to finish...

23 days to go

madmarch..going to aggyapril

2009-03-28T18:26:00.003+08:00

freaking trying time.
i'm trying all the time
but i dun have much time
cos the datelines are such slimes
there seems nothing i can find
such as, words to fill my lines.
how i wish i can fly
oh shit that doesn't rhyme.

-hi-hi-

2009-03-25T05:30:00.001+08:00

Hihi world! it's overnight in school first time this sem...
woot. should i carry on with ism or zzz... i wanna do my findings!!!

-grasp-grasp-

2009-03-23T04:02:00.003+08:00

how long will this stay-up-cos-i-am-working-too-slow, and stay-up-cos-i-have-damn-lotsa-work-to-do gonna last.
how many times will up be awake at 4am and be tempted to not sleep.

mental health, nah! it's mental HELL.

how much time do i have left.

shit, not much.

4101 edit video
slides for guanzhen- settling the comm interview
research for urban project

ISMISMISMISMISM.

kill me. i'm disgusted.
but
well...i must say, yr4 is dammmmmmmmmmmexciting.

i dun feel like sleeping man...haizzzz不想睡.
KNS

ISM

2009-03-09T17:03:00.003+08:00

dateline is exactly one month later...

time is not on my side

but Christ is

and He is greater

He is Lord.

listening to Hillsongs now on Youtube

and this is one of the many uplifting songs that God has given to us to sing to Him.

and yes, congrats to Ryan and Andrew...i'm excited that The Offer will be sung by the finalists. and may their hearts be stirred and His glory be shown through this, yes even thru this.

雨滴

2009-03-07T15:49:00.005+08:00

下雨了
我记得我女朋友告诉我三月到五月份，新加坡闪电打雷的次数是全年来最高的时候。
我在我的蓝色房间里，心里却想要在外头漫步。。。
风现在吹得好狂，从里面所能看到的不是直直下来的雨滴而是受到风吹袭而向左落。
我把窗打开。那寒冷的风感觉甜甜的，给我一种清新的感觉。
这是不是我的家？
我为什么不敢把窗大开？

哦！雷公公又发出轰隆隆的声音。
哦！在客厅，我老爸播着titanic 的“myheart will goon" de 音乐。。。满是赫今天的天气。

抬头看，像泪水般大的雨滴簌簌而下。。。是谁在哭？
这场雨不知道形容几个人的情感。
无奈吗？凄凉可怜吗？懒散？不知所措？

我好想能有机会看到闪电在我前面撇下来。。。
我好想让我的皮肤近接触雨滴。
我好想被风吹。。。能飘上天不是更好吗？哈哈。。。我能承受跌倒时所面对的痛吗？

这几天我面对的事情，人对我说的话，人对我不说话，让我再次的感觉到人的不能，人的缺陷，人的限制。。。坦诚地说，使我得不能，缺陷以及限制。
我好像不懂地如何与人沟通。。。
工作与关系的平衡点又是如何掌握？
是要在工作岗位上胜任但不允许人与人之间的感情上有负面的影响。。。我现在，将来该怎么办呢？

雨后就会天晴吗？

这场雨，诶！好像要结束了。
天，也缓缓地亮了一些。

只能在灰暗中期待着光明的美
就好像天黑了，我们才能看到闪烁的星星，不然我们也就会等待明亮晨星的到来。

' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '
' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '
'' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '
' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '
' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '
' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '
' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '

madmarch sideeffect1

2009-03-05T16:48:00.003+08:00

thank God He helped me with the litreview presentation today by preparing the work 2 weeks ago.
so that i could sleep the night b5 from 245am to 735am and still get my singlish transcript done...and my 12 slides presentation also.
can you believe it how last min it was 738am-829am...that was the amount of time i had to do the presentation... w/o the work that i had done 2weeks ago, i can just skip the presentation.

then again, i still need to tweak the framework. my hypothesis question needs to be removed as it was stated the obvious: "Sibling relationship will change as they transit from childhood to adolescence because of factors they experience."

perhaps i was stating the obvious and then...

sup commented that my research question is not clear... i dun seem to be clear with what i am do find out. "on the right track, but William you need to tweak your framework..."-
"HEY! did't i show you that wed? you said it was "much better"- what did you mean then!
wah sianz.

i need to beef up on my references...more journals... this reading up shit is irritating me...and well she mentioned that she felt that i seemed to be insecure...

am i?
i know i do feel jittery b4 consultation.
i know i dunno if i am really on the right track.
i call such anixiety as "naireffect"-named after her.

maybe i just want to have fun (like you too) but my superego is too strong.
sighzzz

see u later and hope u'll be glad to see me cos i will be when i meet you later.

yay! to dateline extension...

and help me rest in You...

hell march 09

2009-03-02T23:06:00.002+08:00

i think march 09 is going to be quite packed with

filming -4101 and 4202
community survey- 4103- finding out why there's low participation rate in RC-organised activities
transcibing and completion of ISM
tutorial and project meetings for gek2005.
presentation to GRL on community findings...
papers to write for 4101

march is much like hell...

i'm feeling the weariness... ... it's in the mind... ...

2009-02-25T00:51:00.001+08:00

i suck (again) but
I'll learn
and be a better person after this and
better boyfriend to you

CNY 2009 and VDAY 2009

2009-02-18T14:13:00.011+08:00

my mummy and daddy!

CNY reunion at my home! my family 2009my baby chek hui- our third CNY TOG!

lohei at my place!

our third vday started off at her place! and yes! i've presented all my gifts to her! and she was glad!

and we went to the philatelic museum! and i really like my presents i got from my darling this yr! a 8 GB thumbdrive, a thai CD (yippee!) and this costume for our BB! =)

His love endures forever!

2009-02-18T13:27:00.007+08:00

i wanna give praise to my King!
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
becos His love endures forever.
He is good; He's above all things! His Love endures forever! I want to sing praise...

He is good to me not because I have done things for him neither because He sees that I haven't been sinning...
Even when I have sinned or still fall into temptations at times, He gave His son to die for me...and because of my sinless Jesus died, I can face today and tmr and the future!
He is on my side because I accepted Jesus into my life!

Romans 5:6-11 - the passage mentioned at the last BAG group resonated clearly within me.
It's the silence to think and ponder and know the significance of the passage and had enabled to overcome the challenges i had met for the last one week.

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. "

"Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."

last week i had dificulties getting my research participants... by Sunday, i had 6 pairs of siblings when i needed 3 to work with.

and i am excited to share with you the following!

On monday, my supervisor told me that i looked tired. and i admitted...i told her i was panicky and i had to distribute time and effort for my research and pdt. I began to feel panicky becos i haven't done up my literature review and she had also told me that my theoretical assumptions, concept maps and interview questions were 'everywhere!'... she told me that she knew such things would happen to me when i told her my class will have a pdt lined up this mid term break. Thank God she didn't go further because my tired mind would become very congested. congested with her suggestions and her nagging and the negative self talk would have surfaced eventually.

So i met chek for lunch, feeling rather down and tired...so i headed home to rest.
on the way home, i sent prayer requests out to my dear cell group members and classmates to pray for direction and wisdom to plan for my ism and also for peace.

I slept when i got home, as advised.
I woke up,wanting to revisit my ism...but i SUDDENLY FELL SICK

suddenly: within 15min
fell sick: sneeze x10times, nose leaking, then whole nose blocked, sore throat, feeling weak and i knew i couldnt stay up to do revise my work. HOW!

i sent out another prayer requests to my dear CG members and friends... so desperate le!
HOW CAN I NOT PRAY! must pray... that's the most powerful tool then i thought. (i really thought so leh... quite instinctly i thought i needed Christ's help)

so well, i prayed too... very simple prayer. sentence dun need to flow coherently, nicely...so talked and asked for mercy and good sleep.
(i guess i must have scare a few friends!)
and i woke up at 10plusam on Tues, and at about 12 noon, I have RECOVERED completely!

my dear came to visit me somemore! and i was very happy to see her!

i went to meet my research participants too!

i worked out my literature review, my conceptual maps... and slept at 2plus...leaving 2 items undone... i felt the Spirit telling me 'it's enough, go sleep.'

the next day, i boarded the train at simei at 855am. NO crowd! have seat for me. so i worked out my framework. YAY! done just before i reached clementi! reached school at 10am, ready to meet with my supervisor! but she has a meeting she can't leave!
so i worked out my interview questions! When i had just finished checking my interview questions, she's ready to meet me!

During that meeting, she told me that the work was much better!...and much better... hmm, see u rest and u could think! and the back of my mind was how AMAZING my God is. so with 'much better..., and i think you can start your interviews ...', i left her office, literally jumping with joy and excited to share this wonderful piece of testimony.
(These happen from Sun to Wed noon: 90hrs!... including sleep time, travelling time, slacking time, talking time, falling sick time!...woot!)

To all who despair, come to the Father.
He shall give you rest and without you knowing, u are soaring sky high like an eagle...so proud and so excited!

Psalm 136
1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.
2 Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever.
3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever.
4 to him who alone does great wonders, His love endures forever.
5 who by his understanding made the heavens, His love endures forever.
6 who spread out the earth upon the waters, His love endures forever.
7 who made the great lights— His love endures forever.
8 the sun to govern the day, His love endures forever.
9 the moon and stars to govern the night; His love endures forever.

come on! let's praise Him!
and come fri and sat...I shall perform for Him!
woohoo!

temperature is rising...

2009-02-12T18:23:00.003+08:00

the temperature's rising.
it's less than 8 days to the performance.
are we there yet?

the temperature's rising.
there's a mountain of things to do.
at least, that's how i feel.
maybe there ARE that many things to do.
and once again, i dunno how to start.

it's true that the ISM topic has to be something close to my heart.
if not, doing it is a chore.
it is so tough to find a family of 4-mum, dad, 2 siblings whose age are between 15-18.
my ism is about finding out factors that change the quality of attachment between siblings and it implications.

the temperature's rising.
cos the last lap is here...

the temperature's rising...
global warming and what not.

click on

2009-02-05T02:34:00.001+08:00

http://thethesis2009.blogspot.com

dun hesitate! click on it!

first and next...next...

2009-02-05T02:28:00.003+08:00

i am beginning to doubt beckham's integrity. true that he is still a kutlat player. true that he can help ur FC get loads of cash and countless sponsorship. true that his ball bending ability has brought him from Manunited to Real Madrit to LA Galaxy now to AC Milan.
but not keeping to his deal with Galaxy and wanna move permanently to AC Milan is showing who he is.
his character is beginning to disgust me. afterall i've been 'hooked' to soccer cos of manunited and d.beckham since i was 14. darn. 11yrs.

next, i wonder how come You are Mine speaks so much to both my gf and bf (it's best fren!) and not me.

next next, i think my director for my play is amazing. michelle...jiayou! thanks for sharing with me ur testimony.

next next next, thank God that i managed to do what i needed to do to touch the audiences.

hybrid spoof of rihana's umbrella and 881

2009-02-03T02:59:00.001+08:00

see if u can see the chicken and the man.

william and acting

2009-02-02T02:54:00.005+08:00

i like to act. i think i really enjoy getting into roles and perform.
there is something in me- a performing streak- that spurs me to want to present to an audience, so as to tell a story.

no one in my family seems extraverted enough to want to share, to want to display, to show...
but i inherited from them a safe environment to dare to show such flair- strangely, not to them but to an audience.

i often remember when i was younger i would move with the beats from songs, that was when i was still a toddler. during primary school, i asked one of the teachers i/c of teacher's day celebration if i could go on stage and dance and i did...and well, my face was so thick i kept dancing and influenced a few more pp to join me on stage.
i was active in choir for about 10yrs. under the baton of mr nelson kwei, i sang songs that praise my God whom i didn't know, i travelled overseas and performed to audiences and competed under the 'watchful' eyes and 'sensitive' ears of judges.
there was tkd demonstration and i was thrilled with the ideas of showing stunts and kicking planks so as to draw members to the activity.

wow, i thought going on stage was fun, exciting, nervous...

came sec1 beijing immersion trip... i had my first taste of role playing.
a baddie, 一个使枪的枪匪。。。威胁客站的老板...an armed robber who threatened the innkeeper. then on, i had a kick in playing baddies, aka ah-beng. 很放。。可以大声。。应该大声。。来恐吓好人。。 (the streak of ah-bengness starts here)

for a while i aspired to be an (tv/stage) actor. yea, even for someone short, yet rather candid... like 辉哥, there was also 周初明。搞笑。。。 i told my MEP teacher and she remembered until these few years i told her that i will be a social worker and NOT an actor.

i didn't get hold of any roles in school choir performances. maybe i shouldn't. that kept me in check. Nope. i wasn't good enough for nelson to hand me a role in les mis and horrotorio.

came BMT and i was the company mascot. a short man in a huge jack-daniel's whiskey bottle made outta cardboard. well... till date, i am still amused i wore that thing and paraded during games day at tekong which somehow triggered a slight brawl between my sect comm and another spec from T coy.

in NS, through my recruits' lives, i saw the impoverished side of what is commonly and often mistakened as a good society, singapore. I saw how hard lives were when my trainees had to sell hardpack, joined gang becos they dun find nothing from dysfunctional homes; living conditions were minimal, parents outta job, gf about to give birth while he is in camp... nah, not all singaporeans grew up like me. (to prepare my heart to do social work)

God was gracious; He grant me an opportunity to study in NUS. most importantly, that's where i (re-)met chek. there, i also met friends who are like-minded.

During my uni days, i went thailand for mission trip (twice) and i role-played characters from the bible.(who arh? i cannot rmb)

i also was involved in the clown musical, an evangelistic musical. that musical was the first major performance after a 3-4 yrs hiatus. thank God He knew i could commit the role of a blind man whom Jesus healed. "I can see! I can see!!" not only did the blind man was healed physically, his heart and mind saw the Light. that was a revelation; something i didn't know until i acted that role.
never had i imagined to get a role in a MUSICAL, what more i sang and leapt, and act. hallelujah!
in between, i sang with heartdrive and there i have it, an album called First Love.
With a heart of thankfulness, You have used my talents to speak to me and assure me;teach me and humbled me.
during easter last yr, i was thrilled acting as the Enemy in the mime at church. i was glad that the impact was there. got kick!

In my course-social work, students role-play as clients and social workers. I enjoyed my classes that has such element. experiential learning.

Presently, a dedicated group of social work students in their final (honours) year are passionate about raising the profile of the social work profession, as well as generating public awareness about prevalent social issues that social workers commonly deal through staging a drama called “Thesis”.

Till this date, this is the first time i am handed a key-character role.
My largest attempt in acting.

i am given a role in one of the short plays.

acting is like a hobby.

it could have been a profession/career.

but God didn't call me there (yet).

but He has given me enough to dare act and perform and enjoy every moment of getting into roles.

i hope i can share my joy of acting with you. at the same time, really, i hope u get to know about some of the current social issue in singapore, in particular domestic violence and pp with disabilities.

CNY festive 2009

2009-01-29T02:27:00.004+08:00

i will share my pictures of CNY 2009... but more importantly...do keep a look out for my social work honours class production at the blackbox on the 20th and 21st feb.
NEXT!
i need help getting 3 pairs of siblings, can be boy-boy, girl-girl, boy-girl dyad. both of their ages must be between 15-18. parents must be always married.
IT'S FOR MY RESEARCH! for my ISM.

NEXT!
i want to quickly inform u guys out there that i am becoming fatter as the days/months plus.Thank you dear dear for ur reassurances.
there's check up on the 9th feb...
oh ya! pls do your diary today k...

SECOND last thing. i just wanna tell u that i had my
FIRST lohei on 23rd jan (fri b4 CNY mon) at AS7 with my class: XINGLONG (halal) brand.
SECOND lohei on 23rd jan (3-4hrs after the first) at reunion dinner with my extended relatives at a coffee shop
THIRD lohei was on 24th jan (ok. it was a brave step we took. i went to chek's GIGANTIC extended family reunion dinner)
FOURTH lohei was not on reunion dinner with my nuclear family of origin (steamboat instead)...not on the first day of CNY... but on the 3rd day of CNY when we had fruitty loheiz
FIFTH lohei will be oin fri when my BAG group is doing it...

4 loheis..

no wonder i'm taking 20mins for 2.6km.
OMGOSHHHH.........

how to get money from ippt test... i want my fitness back... i almost died!

hope i update u soon wor

a 6.5hrs experience...

2009-01-19T20:51:00.006+08:00

love is a process o learning. love is not a destination.

learning. we often make mistake when we undergo this process of learning and we need to learn from mistakes. Sometimes mistakes arise because of one's carelessness, for this case, when one is careless in the words we choose to speak, in the actions we choose to take.

Mistakes arise when it is a habit. human habits are hard to kick and we need to motivate and encourage each other to believe that change and improvement are possible.

do u rmb when we were younger... some of our 'h' looks like 'n', just because it was our style. We need to change this style... if not, statements like ' the boy is hot ' becomes 'the boy is not'...

do u rmb sometimes our mathematical statements are wrong because we were careless

eg 45+27 = 62 or when we copy what was in our column at the right hand side of the exercise book to the middle, we miss out a '0'...

ya, we were careless...

let me not be careless and be careful.

I am learning to appreciate you for who u are. i am want to love you daily.

We are not a perfect couple and thank God you know that and is also ready to forgive me. you are my no1 darling!

sometimes words cannot express how much i thank you.

____

ONE day

TWO cokes

THREE students

FOUR didn't want to give up when edwin considered

FIVE men

SIX .5 hrs queuing

SEVEN days b4 CNY

EIGHT (ATE) Macs for breakfast (in 2 details)

NINE am meet; NINE00$ (est) spent

one day, edwin jio-ed 3 students and a NSF (altogether 5 men) to go buy BAK GUA! LIM CHIN GUAN BAK GUA! LCGBG!!!!! they arranged to meet at 9am at chinatown, 7 days b4 CNY to buy dunno-why-so-popular,is-it-really-so-tasty- LCGBG! so well...we decided to call it a cell group guys outing. we actually thought we would finish our dealings and bring our hunt/bacon back home within 4 hours...we didn't. sometimes i think most singaporeans are spared from economy slowdown. serious! for breakfast, we split into two groups and ate macs for breakfast. as the mins ticked away, we realised, psychologically, we weren't prepared for the toll that was upon us. 10metres only after 1plus hours. we gave ourselves TWO large cokes to boost ourselves. still, after a while, when edwin was thinking of giving up, the FOUR of us told him that since we have queued for 3-4 hrs le...JUST CARRY on. in the end, we reached LCG after SIX.5 hours...3.30pm!!! and bought about 40kg of bak gua that cost about NINE00$...madness.

what a unique experience.

we had wanted to go MINDS CAFE but there was a company holding a function there.

well, we made our way to rochor tau hwey.

1st post of 2009

2009-01-12T22:14:00.003+08:00

this is 2009's first entry.
My feeling is mixed, esp the last few days.
perhaps it's the new year blues... but why...
is it becos this is my last semester in school and work is just straight after?
is it becos i am not ready to juggle pdtion and school work; church stuff and friends...

2008 was a year which grace was abounding in my life. Apart from an improvement in my CAP from 3.62 to 3.68 (stablising my second honors), He has shown grace in terms of relationship.
My God has protected me time and time again when I drove... Thank Him for His mercy.
There were close shaves because of speeding cars, taxi, heavy rains, turning into wrong lane and drove a good 20m opposing the intended direction of traffic without having to meet with any car on the lane.

It was a year that well, i took a step back from YA and decided to serve in the Chinese ministry.
Thank God for the chance for me to share mny testimony to CK, SWHCL09 and Chek's frens.

I need to
spend more time with Jesus.
listen more - to pp, esp chek and not take her for granted
judge less- towards pp who are different.
dare to fail/ do badly - with each training/practice, my skills/technique will improve.

u know, as i am typing now...i think i am typing for the sake of it... i dunno.
This couldn't be mental exhaustion as a result of an enjoyable holiday.

What the Lord has installed for me i do not know but I know I have a dependable God.

Maybe my heart is heavy laden because i know that after i begin work i would have lesser free time. Surely, my life would be colourised with hues of different shades as i interact with pp at my workplace.
Maybe my heart is heavy laden because i know there are pp out there who dunno who Jesus is and my heartaches for them.

2008:
FOH training
short friendship with Najla, a Swedish of African descent
Easter practice
Teaching Sam Chemistry
Birthdays
Health Check and diagnosed with higher cholestrol
Alpha
SW day
Church camp
AG Home visits
dear's 21st birthday
HfH
PENANG getaway
2nd anniversary
combined service (co-lead with Ryan)
Couple ministry
SMS buddy counseling
trips to TTSH
understanding Dr Liu, Dr Choo in class
missing Dr Tim, Dr Ngiam
Class gathering
pdtion prep
Chinese ministry
Youth Rally

i guess i should stop here.
have a good laugh

2008-12-31T00:15:00.001+08:00

darling can be heard on www

2008-12-16T01:37:00.003+08:00

when i made my darling upset, she found smth online that made her very happy.

at music mocha, click on services and look for

"Below is a song done by Miss "C" as a gift to Mr "W" for their 1st anniversary! Here's wishing both of them all the happiness in the world! "

my darling's voice on the www!!! woot!

i'm a social realist (summary)

2008-12-08T14:08:00.005+08:00

Social Realist (SR)

Social Realists are popular persons full of energy. They are reliable, well organized and helpful. Traditional values are important to them. Founding a family also plays a central role in their life. Social Realists have a marked social streak. They are always ready to listen to the worries and problems of others and spare no effort when they are asked for help. With empathy and understanding, they can sense what other people need.
Social Realists are always willing to highly regard the strong points of the other person and to excuse that person’s weaknesses. (strength perspective)They are the most sociable of all personality types.
Social contacts are very important to them.Social Realists find it very difficult to cope with conflicts and criticism - harmony is their elixir of life. Acknowledgement and esteem are very important to this type. Differentiation on the other hand is not necessarily one of their strong points. At work and in partnerships, they are loyal, committed and always there when needed. They find it easy to make friends due to their open, warm manner and they have a large circle of friends. In love, they are faithful and attentive and care for their partners with a great deal of imagination and sensitivity. Social Realists show their feelings openly and honestly. Should a relationship break up, they tend to blame themselves. That is why they find it very difficult to end a partnership even if it has not fulfilled their requirements for some time

Adjectives which describe your type: extroverted, practical, sentimental, planning, emotional, temperamental, energetic, tradition-conscious, loyal, helpful, devoted, reliable, caring, objective, thorough, organised, warm-hearted, open, friendly, sociable, chummy, obliging, self-sacrificing, public-spirited, sensitive, kind, demanding

The free iPersonic Personality Test

2008-12-08T14:08:00.001+08:00

Social Realist in a love r/s

2008-12-08T14:01:00.000+08:00

No other type is as loving, attentive, and committed a partner as you. Many authors describe your type as the most personable and endearing of all: caring, sensitive, and always making sure that others are comfortable in your presence. For you, investing a lot in your relationship, and totally committing yourself to another person goes without saying. You enjoy assuming responsibilities, and that applies to your partnership, as well. When you encounter hic-ups in your relationship, the first things you look for are ways to change yourself. You were born with the need to take care of the person you love most - to the best of your ability - and to do everything to make him/her comfortable. You create a comfortable home with the feeling of security and intimacy for both of you. To please and surprise your partner, you have an astounding sense for sharing small and frequent signs of your love. Your antenna for his/her needs is almost eerie, and sometimes you almost trip over yourself with eagerness when it is important to you to meet his/her needs. In the long run, your own needs are frequently neglected when you have a partner who prefers taking over, or who does not care for you as sensitively as you care for him/her. Any partner is going to be overwhelmed by your sensitive and exuberant nature. Because you often like to talk about things close to your heart you are not stingy with compliments and assurances of your love. You are the most emotional and passionate of the Realists. The power of your feelings often carries you away. With you, this is not just lip service because you also prove your love with deeds. Whoever is with you can always rely on you. Your fidelity and loyalty toward your partner are extraordinary and unshakeable. Comparative studies have often indicated that Social Realists lead the list of the sixteen types in the durations of their marriages. For you, a relationship represents a life-long obligation; you don’t enter into it lightly and expect stability and reliability from your partner, as well. If you are disappointed, it hurts you even more than any other of the personality types

Social Realist at work

2008-12-08T12:55:00.000+08:00

The Social Realist is the most social among all personality types. For you, it is essential to choose a profession where you can deal with as many people as possible. You recharge your batteries with the help of people contact and the personal exchanges needed for your very special talents to unfold. You are the prototype of the caring person in the positive sense, because you love to act on behalf of others and care for them. If you have the impression that there is a way to contribute by improving the quality of their life, it satisfies you more than anything.For your type, the feeling to be needed, loved, and appreciated is more than vitally necessary. Therefore, working in seclusion is not for you. It is just too much counter to your extroverted nature, and your need for interpersonal interaction.You have the best ideas during dialogues with others, as they stimulate your creativity. Instead of developing abstract aid projects with the help of a drawing board, you prefer to engage yourself on the frontlines with person to person contact. For you, it is important to see the results of your work so you can go home feeling that you (again) made the world a better place - at least a bit. You are a born team player. You are open and communicative, easily integrating yourself into group hierarchies. For your personality type, harmony is the keyword in your personal, as well as in your professional life. Since conflicts and power struggles seriously stress you making it difficult for you to attend to your tasks, you should put your emphasis on working in a stress free, respectful, and affectionate environment. Working environments continuously affected by tough infighting, and where competitive conflicts are intense represent too great a strain.

good bye fellow victorian

2008-12-05T02:31:00.003+08:00

amidst of my exam, a fellow singaporean was made hostage at a terrorist attack at mumbai.

News of her being caught in that tight and intense situation got the nation reeled.

News of how the authorities there were attempting to rescue as well as to negotiate seemed to be of no avail

Not long later, we rx news that the fellow singaporean, a young 28 female lawyer did not make it. i was shocked- truly, she was the first singaporean victim of terrorism.

Later when i realised she was a victorian, the impact was greater. i dunno why. perhaps
we were connected. we had somewhat a familiar history- VJ anthem, VJ cheers, Principal Lee, the Welshman, Ms Lam... all of a sudden, the reality of death and the threats of terrorism became more real.

how old was she? 28, merely 4 years my senior. I wrote what Lynn wrote in the ST today. Indeed, a she's a fellow Gen-Y, the post-independence babies, like me....

Deeply saddened.

those who love her, esp her husband; it must be extremely hard, esp after yday's cremation.
that's when harshness sets in, silence of the night is capable of bringing you back to today, yuck!

I pray that you will be well ...

wah!

2008-11-27T03:29:00.001+08:00

my classmates are incredible man

feeling nv b4

2008-11-24T22:37:00.003+08:00

how did those who entered the hall of fame do it?

did peter know he was stepping into water?

right now, william is experiencing something different. quite scary yet quite exciting.

did peter feel that way?
oh he fixed his eyes on Jesus.

those who made into the hall of fame knew who God is.

tmr, maybe thur, maybe sat too... would be A-lvl chem re-visited...

best liner!

2008-11-19T13:14:00.003+08:00

this is the best line. BEST thing i've come across this semester.
how timely, during my revision:

"...the human meaning of blessing came to me out of its historical religious meaning. THe feeling of "blessedness" comes out of the experience of being accepted. The Christian concept of God's grace is an experienced acceptance that was enearned and unearnable. "

(Ross, E.K.,1975, p154)

Ross, E.K. (1975). Death: The Final Stage of Growth Englewood. Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice-Hall. Chap 6.

i'm so thankful that God loves me so much that He had to see His son die on the cross...

honours yrs pt1

2008-11-19T12:41:00.016+08:00

Lok - kok day

All white day

visit to apex harmony lodge

All-black day

Research project group: Runners!

Semesterly Capt ball 08/09
my team that got 3rd

Uniform day!

one of the birthday SURPRISES

i wrote to my class on the last day of school.

They are a lovely bunch of ppl whom I hope will be my frens after grad.

i guess i am like that.

I confess i dunno a lot of them very well, but there are a few whom i can click with and i thank God for them. They are God's way of telling me that He has placed ppl strategically to support me.

which includes my beloved gf.... chek hui.

thank you for your support and understanding, really.

There were ups and there were downs...but we have manage to overcome the downs and rejoice in times of happiness.

this semester must have been tough for u as i am uber occupied..and i really appreciate u telling me ur uncertainties...

and thank you evan who intro "desert song" to me.

and thank you edwin who let me play fifa09 with me

and thank you mummy daddy and ah-ger

and above all, thank you Jesus

不是一时的冲动的决定

2008-11-15T02:25:00.003+08:00

我心中的怕 不知该怎么做才可以放下 只不过想好好的爱一次啊
繁星守侯月不能睡只因为爱上了夜的黑 带我远走高飞 一起去追有一个叫做幸福的世界没有泪水

得了A又怎么样

emo

你心中的累 不知该怎么做才可以放下 只不过想好好被爱一次啊

繁星守侯月不能睡只因为爱上了夜的黑 带你远走高飞 一起去追有一个叫做幸福的世界没有泪水

2008-11-01T22:32:00.002+08:00

i dunno what to type....

sometimes i just wanna

*blank out*

stress mitigator

2008-10-24T16:23:00.003+08:00

amidst the heaps and never-ending work...
i have a fun-loving and rather cohesive class...
that's a huge mitigating factor.

thank God for them. and i hope our relationship will last longer than an honours year.

thanks-giving

2008-10-13T01:41:00.003+08:00

i knew i didn't start my day well on Sunday.
I knew what slipped from my mouth.
i erred.

ya...that's goes to show how human i am.

amidst so much buzz, gladful and thankful for those who are standing by, garnering support.
thanks evan. shall desist.
thanks juan for not pushing.
and esp for today, as i deliberate set time aside to hang out with enochui and chek... i thought i gained insight and knowledge that are invaluable.

thanks enochui for the time, energy, patience and the empathetic attitude towards our sharing.
thanks dear for being who u are, for complementing me...
let's jiayou tog in every aspect of our lives.

沙漠中的赞美

2008-10-11T20:59:00.001+08:00

PSALM 63
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.

3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.

7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.

8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

2008-10-08T12:43:00.002+08:00

the amount of stress can be so indescribable at time.
esp when the datelines come crushing and the harsh reality that time is really not on my side.
the cruelty of my honours year is that i'm not the only one facing this tremendous amount of work which creates a choking sensation.

some of them are showing signs of crack; some have cried a bucket; some whose pressure are building and it's only a matter b4 it blows.

the temptation of sleeping in, skipping useless seminars.
arriving late for seminars is beginning to be a norm for me.
sigh, how pathetic.
sometimes i really feel like letting it go, and like a free market, things may regulate itself.

insurmountable difficulties esp with a brain that process slower than i want it to be. have i reached my limits?

BUT when i listen to worship songs like, it's as though i'm lifted from my worries.
even reading my bible is so refreshing. but the thing is that i touch my notes, assignments more than i touch my bible.

I prayed and i received the assurance but God help me! my human flesh is weak and my mind strays into the path where doubts, fear thrives and manifest; where light is seen at the far end.
Weekly cell group meetings maybe robbed and i disgust with the fact that i even have to consider that option.

What makes me alive now is my weekends, and the intangible love in the relationships i have with God and the ppl around. will they be strong enough to see me thru...

I'm sure they will. tell me they will. let me be convinced.
I have Christ, He who has overcome the world and even death.
no amount of failures and stress can ever pluck me from His hand, cos i am His and He is mine...here in the power of Christ I stand.

stress-reliever

2008-08-30T00:44:00.005+08:00

seen this ad?

i can be seen like this at times these days...

i dun mind this...

but I need and want JESUS

I truly need Him daily. HELP!!!!!!

stressology

2008-08-23T02:26:00.004+08:00

i have actually an uncompleted blog entry in my "edit post" page.
that entry is the slightly descriptive one, telling u guys/myself what happened.

tonight, i had the urge to write down my thoughts. Like other times, just before i want to
pen down, i'm lost for words.
I am still unable to express myself online.

Speaking to a diary or an online blog can be seen as talking to wall. Walls do not respond.
Speaking to God is something that is different. Even though He doesn't respond like a human being/machines does, He is, but, One who has a heart of love and compassion. He is alive.

I was suspended from work due to my haircut. I "lost" almost $300.
I made up with a part time at a medical clinic. I felt that I was part of a cahoot that
led publics sign up for smth. All in all, i felt i was cheating aunties and uncles who signed up
for a following up treatment after a free quick check. With that, i dun feel good.

The next cell group material comes timely. No work- No extra allowance- Restricted.
Spoke to a fren who, instead, came down hard on me. SHould i have blamed him？I ignored him as I was furthered stressed and felt that i was being questioned! I know he has good intention. thanks.
How did u manage with $300 and I dun. I know u are concerned when u responded to the amount of money i am spending on insurance. I am not as independent as u... for stuff like this, my parents would insist and i would comply. Most hurting statement was " Why didn't u use ur pr skills to ask around..." F... freak! i am worried that the transaction doesn't happen quicker. Ya la! i nv plan la. no contingent plan.

I think she was right when she questioned if i had saved from my previous odd jobs.
I have work, had tuition... but true i am still poor- no savings.
Am i really like that... no sense of savings. Like that then how to be financially stable.
I am serious about what i said that it is good that we are talking about such topics.
attitudes twds money/savings/expenditure now.

I know when i die my money from various insurances would distribute thousands back.
I nv thought of sitting down to think carefully what i have and what would happen to those things if i were to passed away outta the blue. i do not own many things, most are paid for by my parents or they are shared items.

I wanted also to do an entry titled: What would i do if i had 1 yr left on earth now?

1. damn it! I can't get my honours since I am likely to quite school. I want to get honours so that i can grad nicely, see how God's faithfulness in my struggles.

2. quit school is good. would i do social work? i dunno--- 1 yr only

regrets: nv a chance to sing in a concert properly. but thank God for heartdrive's first love, upcoming genesis and youth rally. oh ya! and the bilingual service which i was co-leading and translating a bit of mandarin.

3. able to see my thai frens again. not wasting time to learn thai but will go there and if possible sow seeds of faith and encourage my bros and sis in Christ, esp dawrung and Tik, Air also!

4. Learn how to share Christ in mandarin...share Christ in English in Singapore esp with friends from pri-college

5. to watch Man-united get the treble AGAIN! and i be there to witness their victories and goals!

6. eat glorious food!

7. ask for apology, speak to ppl i care, visit teachers.

8. i dun think i want to watch DVD...

9. time with chek

10. time with fam

11. not so keen about writing will though.

12. really request that FISHＬＥＯＮＧreserves a seat for chek for her concert in msia, spore and tw. how i wish chek's tix will be paid for.

13. get a social worker/pastoral stuff...to prepare for grief therapy.

14. to be able to sing properly in a choir with my choir frens and perform for my audience

15. to perform/act...i dunno where/what...

16. be more civic-conscious and be more encouraging to others who are not considerate on public transport like buses and trains.

16. to reflect

17. to pray for my meeting with God

18. to cry

19. to hug

20. sing K-duet/ swim/ travel with my darling

i didn't expect myself to write the 20 points...

hey guys, i am stressed in school.
I would like to remind myself that God is my hope and strength. Not to lean on my ability, my understanding and effort.
I would like to remind myself some pressure is good. remind myself my class's quite fun to be with. I would like to remind myself that i told God i want to invest in others' lives and entrust my academics to Him.
I would like to tell myself i have darling's support/fam's support and a group of supportive frens.
I would like to tell myself God has a future for me.
that i am a child of the most High King- therefore no need to feel inferior.
that even i may be hard-pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persucuted but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed.
all this because i have a Saviour who is full of Grace and Love.

70*7=infinity

2008-07-22T00:14:00.001+08:00

"How many times must I forgive my brother?" the disciple Peter had asked Jesus.

"Seven times?" Lisa's Sunday school teacher had read Jesus' surprise answer to the class.
"Seventy times seven."

Lisa had leaned over to her brother Brent as the teacher continued reading. "How many times is that?" she whispered. Brent, though two years younger, was smarter than she was.
"Four hundred and ninety," Brent wrote on the corner of his Sunday school paper.

Lisa saw the message, nodded, and sat back in her chair. She watched her brother as the lesson continued. He was small for his age, with narrow shoulders and short arms. His glasses were too large for his face, and his hair always matted in swirls. He bordered on being a nerd, but his incredible skills at everything, especially music, made him popular with his classmates.
Brent had learned to play the piano at age four, the clarinet at age seven, and had just begun to play oboe. His music teachers said he'd be a famous musician someday. There was only one thing at which Lisa was better than Brent-basketball. They played it almost every afternoon after school. Brent could have refused to play, but he knew that it was Lisa's only joy in the midst of her struggles to get C's and D's at school.

Lisa's attention came back to her Sunday school teacher as the woman finished the lesson and closed with prayer. That same Sunday afternoon found brother and sister playing basketball in the driveway. It was then that the counting had begun. Brent was guarding Lisa as she dribbled toward the basket. He had tried to bat the ball away, got his face near her elbow, and took a shot on the chin. "Ow!", he cried out and turned away. Lisa saw her opening and drove to the basket, making an easy lay-up.She gloated over her success but stopped when she saw Brent.
"You okay?", she asked. Brent shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry," Lisa said. "Really. It was a cheap shot." "It's all right. I forgive you," he said. A thin smile then formed on his face. "Just 489 more times though."

"Whaddaya mean?" Lisa asked. "You know...what we learned in Sunday school today. You're supposed to forgive someone 490 times. I just forgave you, so now you have 489 left," he kidded. The two of them laughed at the thought of keeping track of every time Lisa had done something to Brent. They were sure she had gone past 490 long ago.

The rain interrupted their game, and the two moved indoors. "Wanna play Battleship?" Lisa asked. Brent agreed, and they were soon on the floor of the living room with their game boards in front of them. Each took turns calling out a letter and number combination, hoping to hit each other's ships. Lisa knew she was in trouble as the game went on. Brent had only lost one ship out of five. Lisa had lost three. Desperate to win, she found herself leaning over the edge of Brent's barrier ever so slightly.

She was thus able to see where Brent had placed two of his ships. She quickly evened the score. Pleased, Lisa searched once more for the location of the last two ships. She peered over the barrier again, but this time Brent caught her in the act. "Hey, you're cheating!" He stared at her in disbelief.

Lisa's face turned red. Her lips quivered. "I'm sorry," she said, staring at the carpet. There was not much Brent could say. He knew Lisa sometimes did things like this. He felt sorry that Lisa found so few things she could do well. It was wrong for her to cheat, but he knew the temptation was hard for her. "Okay, I forgive you," Brent said. Then he added with a small laugh,"I guess it's down to 488 now, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so." She returned his kindness with a weak smile and added, "Thanks for being my brother, Brent."

Brent's forgiving spirit gripped Lisa, and she wanted him to know how sorry she was. It was that evening that she had made the chart with the 490 boxes. She showed it to him before he went to bed. "We can keep track of every time I mess up and you forgive me," she said.

"See, I'll put a check in each box-like this." She placed two marks in the upper left-hand boxes. "These are for today." Brent raised his hands to protest. "You don't need to keep-" "Yes I do!" Lisa interrupted. "You're always forgiving me, and I want to keep track. Just let me do this!" She went back to her room and tacked the chart to her bulletin board.

There were many opportunities to fill in the chart in the years that followed. She once told the kids at school that Brent talked in his sleep and called out Rhonda Hill's name, even though it wasn't true. The teasing caused Brent days and days of misery. When she realized how cruel she had been, Lisa apologized sincerely. That night she marked box number 96.

Forgiveness number 211 came in the tenth grade when Lisa failed to bring home his English book. Brent had stayed home sick that day and had asked her to bring it so he could study for a quiz. She forgot and he got a C.

Number 393 was for lost keys...418 for the extra bleach she put in the washer, which ruined his favorite polo shirt...449, the dent she had put in his car when she had borrowed it.
There was a small ceremony when Lisa checked number 490. She used a gold pen for the check mark, had Brent sign the chart, and then placed it in her memory box."I guess that's the end," Lisa said. "No more screw-ups from me anymore!"

Brent just laughed. "Yeah, right."

Number 491 was just another one of Lisa's careless mistakes, but its hurt lasted a lifetime. Brent had become all that his music teachers said he would. Few could play the oboe better than he. In his fourth year at the best music school in the United States, he received the opportunity of a lifetime-a chance to try out for New York City's great orchestra.

The tryout would be held sometime during the following two weeks. It would be the fulfillment of his young dreams. But he never got the chance. Brent had been out when the call about the tryout came to the house. Lisa was the only one home and on her way out the door, eager to get to work on time.

"Two-thirty on the tenth," the secretary said on the phone. Lisa did not have a pen, but she told herself that she could remember it."Got it. Thanks." I can remember that, she thought. But she did not. It was a week later around the dinner table that Lisa realized her mistake.

"So, Brent," his mom asked him, "When do you try out?" "Don't know yet. They're supposed to call." Lisa froze in her seat.

"Oh, no!" she blurted out loud. "What's today's date? Quick!"

"It's the twelfth," her dad answered. "Why?"

A terrible pain ripped through Lisa's heart. She buried her face in her hands, crying. "Lisa, what's the matter?" her mother asked. Through sobs Lisa explained what had happened.

"It was two days ago...the tryout....two-thirty...the call came...last week."

Brent sat back in his chair, not believing Lisa.
"Is this one of your jokes, sis?" he asked, though he could tell her misery was real.
She shook her head, still unable to look at him.

"Then I really missed it?" She nodded.

Brent ran out of the kitchen without a word. He did not come out of his room the rest of the evening. Lisa tried once to knock on the door, but she could not face him. She went to her room where she cried bitterly. Suddenly she knew that she had to do. She had ruined Brent's life. He could never forgive her for that. She had failed her family,and there was nothing to do but to leave home. Lisa packed her pickup truck in the middle of the night and left a note behind, telling her folks she'd be all right.

She began writing a note to Brent, but her words sounded empty to her. Nothing I say could make a difference anyway, she thought.

Two days later she got a job as a waitress in Boston. She found an apartment not too far from the restaurant. Her parents tried many times to reach her, but Lisa ignored their letters. "It's too late," she wrote them once. "I've ruined Brent's life, and I'm not coming back." Lisa did not think she would ever see home again.

But one day in the restaurant where she worked she saw a face she knew. "Lisa!" said Mrs.Nelson, looking up from her plate. What a surprise."
The woman was a friend of Lisa's family from back home. "I was so sorry to hear about your brother," Mrs. Nelson said softly. "Such a terrible accident. But we can be thankful that he died quickly. He didn't suffer." Lisa stared at the woman in shock.

"Wh-hat," she finally stammered.

It couldn't be! Her brother? Dead? The woman quickly saw that Lisa did not know about the accident. She told the girl the sad story of the speeding car, the rush to the hospital, the doctors working over Brent. But all they could do was not enough to save him.

Lisa returned home that afternoon.

Now she found herself in her room thinking about her brother as she held the small box that held some of her memories of him. Sadly, she opened the box and peered inside. It was as she remembered, except for one item-Brent's chart. It was not there. In its place, at the bottom of the box, was an envelope. Her hands shook as she tore it open and removed a letter.

The first page read:
-------------------------
Dear Lisa,It was you who kept count, not me. But if you're stubborn enough to keep count, use the new chart I've made for you.
Love,Brent
-------------------------

Lisa turned to the second page where she found a chart just like the one she had made as a child, but on this one the lines were drawn in perfect precision. And unlike the chart she had kept, there was but one check mark in the upper left- hand corner. Written in red felt tip pen over the entire page were the words:

"NUMBER 491. Forgiven, FOREVER."

Forgive others...
Forgive yourself...
The Bible's 70*7=infinity
Source: Unknown

in 1.5 months

2008-07-10T20:18:00.004+08:00

It's been about 1.5 months since i made an entry.

i am glad i didn't go for the special semester which my frens who went had said it was very enrichingly packed. I am glad i didn't go for it because i have been savouring every moment doing the things i enjoy.

1. Church Camp. /it was encouraging to see many touched by the Holy Spirit; the awakening in a handful of youth; Chek Hui experiencing the touch and the realness of the Spirit; my personal encounter with the Spirit which led to prayers and encouragements; building relationship with girls from the AG Home. Thank God for the speaker, the planning team, the retreat the church had. /

after this camp, i witness the intimacy that Chek has with God and that encourages me.

I pray that she will continue to grow in strength and power in His grace.

after this camp, i witness how God can work in one's life in such unexpected and unpredictable manner- evan's.

I shan't speak about it...but brother, ur life is a living testimony.

2. Chek's 21st birthday. /thank God things went smoothly that night and in the day. I hope u rmb the hike we had... and i hope we wun stop with just one hike ok darling!? =) and yep, thanks to your mum, we had a treat for dinner and the green tea icecream which u crave crave crave..

Thanks to all who helped out with the videos!!! arigato!/

3. Heartdrive. /Went to christian songwriter event end of last month. I will be involved with heartdrive for the Genesis project. Looking fwd to that... the plans for my band is pretty exciting too after a few developments. Actually, after attending this event, i'm really keen to pick up vocal lesson to improve my vocal production for worship and my personal recreation. Guess i was inspired by Alarice, but above all, it was Ryan's ' there must be more than this' that got stuck in my brain.

Whatever that might happen to heartdrive, whether we will last for decades or for another 2/3 albums...i dunno...will we travel overseas to bless ppl with our music? i dunno. But i pray in faith that God will lead us as we take our steps of faith... and also that we will, with His power and grace, to see thru minister to many many more ppl esp for the end of yr rally! /

4. AG Home. /Going to AG home for devotion was exciting for chek and myself. WOohOo!! they are really nice bunch of resilient girls. Tough on the outside, soft in the inside. looking fwd to the coming one next week. /

5. SBS. /I wrote in to SBS to complain about the last-bus-that-never-showed-up incident. Long story short- i wrote in to complain about the above incident. waited for a month. no news. i called in...they responded with a fair explanation and a complimentary traveling vouchers. BUT i probed further after accepting their sincere apology.

"WHAT IS THE OPERATIONAL LAPSE?"; " WHAT TOOK THEM 1.5 MONTH TO RESPOND TO MY FEEDBACK?"; "HOW WOULD THEY INFORM THE COMMUNTERS IF SUCH LAPSE WERE TO OCCUR?"

i shall wait another month b4 attempting another email.../

6. primary school gathering. / The last time we met was 2 years back. this time i arranged a gahering at Fizah's place. 12 years. it was 12years ago when we graduated, and we have a good number that day. And it's amazing to know that i have 2 pairs of couples from the class; a proud mother of a baby boy. what will happen another 12 years... more ppl- more will be married, need to make space for children.haha/

7. HfH. / I finally shaved my head, for a cause! I wanted to do a skin-head shave in the past but was met with disagreement becos of the implication and stereotypes. This time, i shaved for the children with cancer. To raise awareness (when ppl ask me) and to empathise with the children. I was very excited to having my hair head shaved while chek was slightly hysterical...no lah...she was reluctant to see me hairless.haha.../

8. NVAC 08 / i attended Juxtapose 08. in 05june, i went for this camp as a freshman, then 06 june, i was in the welfare comm. that was when i knew chek... /woot!/, took a break in 07 cos of attachment and this year, i was in it as a counsellor. I can say that i like to join this camp...dunno why. I dun volunteer regularly anymore; neither do i join any of their other projects... but i have this affinity towards this orientation camp.

9. I am suspended from work. I cannot ____ until my hair grows to an appropriate length. I call this discrimnation. When i was first informed i have to be put off the list, i was like 'huh' why? i took her explanation and though i felt it was >.<... i cannot openly disagree. Now, with my social action backlasking at me...i have sent them a written explanation why i shaved and shaved w/o informing them as well as requesting them to send me an explanation why i cannot work with my present hairstyle.

10. Wild Wild Wet- an interesting group. lovelydandjoyce + chekhuilliam. Yay! darling's got herself smething that day. good investment!

11. Linah's place - finally! we managed a gathering at their place after so long. Sure miss hanging out there, with them. I love linah and gordan! their very helpful children who took care of my diet too!

12. Youth retreat- I am thankful i could serve the youth this way. It's been a while since i joined over in church becos of retreats and camps. Thank God that Chek is growing well and independent enough for me to stay on that evening for the prayer walk and lectio the following day.

there are more stuff to come. I didn't write all that had happened like helping Sam, like Kim's party, like attending commencement 08... but well, oh well... that's all i'm writing for the night.

miracle miracle..a testimony

2008-05-30T12:44:00.006+08:00

My result is another act of God's grace and mercy!

He saw me had 4xC+, 1xB- 2 semesters ago...yes! He saw me through.
Victoriously as My God is, He has blessed me with grades that only He can be glorified!
Unto Him all praises are due!

It is not my strength, wisdom nor ability that pull my CAP up by 0.04.

God gives grace to the humble; He opposes the proud.
He shows His power when I am weak.
He makes things perfect through me, a sinner who has Jesus.
Toil without prayer is a waste of time- this statement is making sense as i grow each day.
When I let go and be sensitive to the Spirit, then I see the beauty of my Lord in my life.
Do not go for careers, modules that are popular, instead do something u like.
Do not think if u work super duper extremely hard and gives perfect answer then u will prosper and do well. Why not try Jesus and grace? ; but saying this, i am not encouraging skiving nor irresponsibility for one reaps what one sows.. how can a farmer expects good harvest of he does not water the plant, plough the field. The harvest will come... and He who is grace, bless His people with goodness and abundance.

I had a good life; now, knowing Jesus, the sweetness of Jesus, I know my life is becoming complete and abundant!

Can you believe, for non malay studies, history major, i got B and B+ respectively when i didn't answer completely and properly?! I trust that the Holy Spirit also helped me through the answering because i didn't study for some topics. I was prompted by the Spirit to study for topics that hadn't appear in past papers the very first thing when i started revising for Hist.

It is grace that i got a B+ for my incomplete mental health paperthroughout a sem of not getting reading yet God provided Chan Min's note for my revision to supplement my notes.
A- for reproductive health! - lesson learnt- do something that u are interested.
Thank God for my agency planning group...40% given to final paper and my results dropped to B- from a possbile B+. I think the reminder is that if i place my confidence in my notes more than i depend on Him... ... ...heh...heh...heh...

Thank you Jesus!

just NOW

2008-05-30T03:22:00.003+08:00

California's first gay marriage, on June 17
(AFP - Thursday, May 29)
California will hold its first gay marriages starting on June 17, state authorities told its public officials Wednesday, two weeks after the state Supreme Court quashed a ban on gay marriage in a historic ruling.

In the ceremony, the authorities said in a statement, the terms husband and wife will be replaced by "party A" and "party B." The union, in all its effects, will in no other way differ from a normal civilian marriage officiated by state authorities.
The ruling added that all California couples had a "basic civil right" to marry "without regard to their sexual orientation."

Oh man... i have the basic human right to slap your face when i feel like it without regards to whether it is right or wrong.

What is the world coming to!!!

A group of tampines residents waited for the last bus 291 to come at 0035hrs. Well, we waited till the bus interchange lights went off, the last few buses streaming into the parking slot...only to be told that "HOW COME U NEVER GO TO THE OFFICE and ask?", " I DUNNO...MAYBE THE BUS BROKE DOWN..." when i asked one of the drivers at 0053hrs.

What is SBS coming to?!!

CCF

2008-05-21T22:33:00.000+08:00

http://www.ccf.org.sg/hfh/webApp/listShavees.php?option=O

Hello all

I just signed up to shave my head bald with the Children's Cancer Foundation.
Pls support this cause and do an online donation by clicking on the hyperlink which will bring u to the relevant website!

http://www.ccf.org.sg/hfh/webApp/listShavees.php?option=O

remember...william loves his hair...

increasing

2008-05-17T01:27:00.003+08:00

these days, i dun find news new.
news are sad.
death are irreversible, less a few incidences, of which one IS the milestone in human history.

these days we have reports of
increasing death toll in sichuan's earthquake that took tens of thousands of lives, causing a million casualties.
increasing death toll in myanmar's cyclone that claimed the lives of thousands, and rescue effort made difficult with the ruling 'gov'.
increasing cost of the black gold
increasing cost of rice due to decreasing supply
increasing global temperature and sea level.
increasing electricity charges
increasing night-life venues

we have threats arising from terrorism, deforestation, urban migration, social-constructivism, pollutions, depeleting non-replaceable natural resources, global warming, uncaring people.

decreasing emphasis on relationship.
decreasing population replacement rate
decreasing human touch

so i recommend readers the New Testament-Good News!