..the beads and p*sses of dumbo-no-more

the day after yesterday

More of You and Less of me

It's been a long break. I'm clearly still alive and kicking, barely.. since my exam is over and all of a sudden, i felt a sense of loss. 'A SENSE OF LOSS!!'u must think i am insane. ya, perhaps.. afterall battling for 7days with 5 papers, it's possible.. if they are like health education, cme, social studies, music-blow recorder kinda...oooh, then no kick..this time it was chinese business followed by social work...buffered well by a 100qn psyche MCQ and nonsensical and devastating cultural shity..i meant study...and modernisation of malays...
i felt a sense of lost...no longer need to mai tou ku du (provided i did...i think i did..ask alvin, andrew, valerie...eh, evan can also justify..ya he can! =))

this sense of loss is strangely similar when we celebrate CNY and Christmas...the exciting part is when we are expecting the arrival of those days . u long for the days to come and when they come smack infront of ya, u are like 'huh'...it's here!? oh? what do i do... and it's all gone after 24/48 hrs... aiyah.. i'm bulling la.
ya, 'bull' is a term i've been using... eg . the lecturer is taking bull..get it?!

I know u dun expect such expression from a refined person like me...come on..?!

the sense of liberation WILL set in once i wake up tmr morning.
yea...a great line-up ahead...though i think ting's programme so far has been pretty adventurous...sheesh.. sailing. i want that.. but nah, not dying my hair.
I will be going church quite often and i like it! they need help,esp durin dec..
have thai mission trip (TMT) to handle.. i'm appointed safety and security ic. believe it or not. it's fact not fiction (got this term from today's STRAITS TIME...some journalist was trying to explain singapore's stand on the death sentence of the vietnam-descent australian drug trafficker). Also, i'm asked to co-lead a worship service on the 30th dec which is probably the substitute service for watchnight. not sure. but i want to and hope i can serve Him in such a manner. YEP! GOD TAKE ME AND MOULD ME, USE ME AND FILL ME. yea! this dec is gonna be exciting...TMT's surely the icing. i can't contain my excitement for it is my first mission trip and i'm so gonna witness how God work amongst the thais whom he equally love. i'm gonna spend christmas 05 in thailand...spreading the love of God and the Good News to God's creations! sheesh... and my team is made up of very fun and workable,teachable and creative pple...

i wun let time slip pass me this dec. gonna exercise, i mean run.. yep! go get some tan...sentosa, (night) cycling, sing k, bday parties, catch up with old frens, visit the dentist...enough to keep me occupied. furthermore, i think i should help out with chores at home,starting with my not-so-messy table. my mum has a neat fetish...nah.. used to la... she has 'nagged' me thrice in ONE evening to tidy up my not-so-messy table.

During the examination period... there were some cold evenings and nights. Cold weather stimulates me to ponder, reminise..to have flashback..to experience de-javu. the cold and still air created feelin of nostalgia. really, if the HDB flats were removed and replaced with a low-lying houses...i would experience hawaii once again. I would experience the cold winter prague and finland once again.. i stared blankly outside my flat and tried my very best to recollect the beautiful times of carolling and performing at secondary school and college. Does cold environment make one travel to the past. reliving sweet and cherishable times? (SOMEONE TELL ME THIS IS NOT SELF PSYCHOANALYTICAL TREATMENT) For me, a dark cloudy day, cool breeze blowing intermittently is pretty sufficient to bring me back to good old days. good old days may not be significant events but surely they left deep impression in my declarative episodic memory...

God played a huge and crucial role during my exam. I was so stressed,though uneasily noticed, that i reached school at 0845 when my paper begins at 1pm only. such is a bloggable event. never in my life have i encountered such incident. Have u? thankfully God prepared my fren to receive me into her hall...so that i could study for the paper the following day. and thru her, i got to know pplive.com. check it out for yourself.
Since this is my first exam in uni, i would have experience some glitches occasionally but God is gracious enough to lead me through 'exciting' times..usually the last 30mins of the exam. hahha..I prayed b4 starting my second and last essay 40 minutes b4 timesup. I prayed for time extension through slowing down of time so that i can conclude my essay nicely towards the end and not left it as a cliffhanger. That'll be worse.
I'd rather satisfy half the requirement of the qn than to give an uncompleted essay.

There were some occasions tat God encourage me thru his words.

day b4 my social work paper:
" When the master comes and finds the servant doing HIS work, the servant will be blessed." - Matt 24:46

SINCE i plan to major sw, i was trying my best to revise all i can. Yar...until the point when i couldn't take it le, i reached out for my devotional book and turned to this page. On it says : ..for every million who aspire, only one achieves. The vast majority of us don't hit the big ball, dun wear gold medal...(allow me to add: dun get scholarships, dun grad with honours, dun earn 500k in his lifetime,dun pass driving test on the first attempt, dun pass first uni exam with CAP of >4).
AND THAT'S ok. we understand that in the ECONOMY OF EARTH, there are a limited number of crowns. The economy of heaven, however, is refreshingly different. Heavenly rewards are not limited to a chosen few, but "to all those who have waited with love for him to come again" - 2Tim4:8

on the day of my sw paper:
"O LOrd, O Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth."
- Ps 8:1

AMEN! i was looking for a verse to encourage me...
I'm sure his majesty filled my ER too

and there was one more. I read this on the day of my psychology paper. This particular one was speaking to the emotive side of me. Yep, He knows me thru and thru and I felt I should read the entire psalm again and again until i see what He want me to see...and so it was
"But i trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in you salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me" - Ps 13:5-6

Hallelujah! He knows what has affected me. He knows my desire. Apparently He is telling me to TRUST and also to REJOICE...for HE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME!

Thank you dear jesus.
This time i managed to get on with life even after a sucky paper. God's immeasurable love and transcending peace is poured forth in me. I want to trust in Him so much so i do not wanna worry.

Also, i have decided what to take for next sem le.
el: the nature of english language
ec: introduction analysis of economic (something lidat)
ml: malay language
sw: relationship skills and social work ; social group and community work practice

well.. very long post. very patient of u to finish reading.
God bless

posted by WILLIAM @ 11:01 PM