..the beads and p*sses of dumbo-no-more

silly boy's rant

i understand why some bands decided to call it a quit and go separate ways.
i, now admire bands who, for the love of the music they make, stay tog as one for long...as long as decades.

sigh, i reckon those bands who disbanded must have been struggling with issues like equality in contributions in areas like vocals and instruments. issues with each other, with producers and managers and the paparazzi ...and off course the stress they have in studios... and not able to sound nice, unable to lock on, in tune, breathe well, enunciate properly, etc.

it's so hard to tell someone who have been working tremendously hard for it.
He has put in mammoth effort in the production, liaison, coordination.
blessed with skills and being so nice that whenever i feel speaking to him in private, i feel ashamed and minute.
the TRUTH is that he has something i dun have.
innovation, humility, gentleness..

gosh, then i thought it must have been done for the good of the team. must have been.
why am i in it in the first place? i wanna do something i like. i wanna use the talents i have.
or is it not a talent afterall. it's mediocre, a self-prophecised truth... afterall, i was 'consoled' on celebrity night.

wasn't told not to contunue what i had been doing until in there.
cannot think of what to do to better the situation.
told that he was not there to teach me how to sing.

the first time i heard myself over the system, i finally felt i had a part to play in it
in the end, i was just involved in 4 songs. INVOLVED...=parts, bits and pieces (haha..looks like i'm living up to the name of my blog!)
ya, i take the small parts... small parts in musicals (dhschoir, vjchoir), in areas that involves music and song...ah, even in worship ministry, i convinced myself that i'll stay as a background vocal...to harmonise...
now, i can't do it well. =(

i can think of reasons why i am involved only in little parts (in which i cannot even do it nicely, cleanly) and i start belittling myself - the results of not walking closely with Jesus.

i'm such a silly boy

posted by WILLIAM @ 2:03 AM