..the beads and p*sses of dumbo-no-more

why do people say 'lose fire' when ORD creeps closer and closer?

now now, first of all does it matter whether u are appreciated?

secondly how bout does it matter WHO shows u the appreciation?

go and think about it.

i have been thinkin & feeling & getting grumpy recently. My boss and my clerk commented often. well, i'm not totally fine.

Sometimes, and in fact everywhere, it is pple who are harder to deal with than the matter itself. PR skill is more impt or is it one's working capability? I became 2ic...cos no choice...suck thumb. At first there was johnny who worked with ben and i heard they quarreled. Des was v good. no major miscomm, he worked well with his two side-kicks.

" I' m not here to make all of u to like me. " ------ XX

well, is that the mentality of a regular..if not, why can't i take that as my working principle?

At the end of the day, NSFs will F off from this island, take back pink IC and lead a civilian life once more. I agree with the welfare and rewards at the end of the road, to a large extent. Furthermore, i was promised by pck that the old system will be applicable for those who worked with him. then what happen..?

Now, i feel lousy. lousy not being to gel with my recruits and staff...cos i'm the 2ic

Now, i feel terrible cos my relationship with tay, df and dq has distant. Why?? this is vexing as we were usually quite talkative...happy..now...seems that i've done smth wrong. I know i'm bad at siaming arrows. but can u try to be more understanding. i also wanna care for my officers and needless to say the specs.. I have a new OC to deal with . He, who hafen really stepped in and to implement his ways, has already cause friction with my pc. this is very disturbing as i feel that i hafen help/protect/support u guys enuff. I' m not a sweet talker. i'm not eloquent, i can't convince pple easily. I'm William and i am who i am..

do u think i like to shoot arrows. No i hate it when i have to choose who to do what at where.

Well, i dun deny that there are cock up in the indent, but in the end things still got done..

Weeks ago, we were choosing who to take over....YY or ZZ..YY or ZZ....why YY was not chosen earlier...now, iz late...iz really silly to just take one batch then ORD.

i'm also worried how's din gonna take on the role of a 2ic when he is still a green horn here. dqdf must guide and lead la.. SIGH.

I hope last week's fieldcamp is my last. took some pic, went for demostration...but didn't crawl BIC. WHY? this batch is unworthy...i'm judgemental. huh?!!?

was glad that i spoke to df. *hey thanks alot if u read my blog*. he told me how he feels..a very short conversation. I need comments too. but phrase them properly ... some pple can take things easily some can't. I'm learning. REALLY REALLY, me and my acsm seems to be on just pure working relationship. no talk cock...joke and makan together.

then again, i'm glad i will leave this place soon. i will start clearing (as soon as i can)...well i'm not exactly losing steam.. there's still that amber burning...GIVE ME A PROPER BATCH...pes c..frankly iz not a fine batch to end with. i commissioned to become an officer and came to tekong to be an instructor, wanting to give my best to botaks..train them to be good soliders. wholeheartedly.

come jan...just COME, and i'll f off from tekong...comin back to 'show face'?

i cannot dun admit that SAF can be v wayang. dun wayang oso cannot...must show neighbouring countries that we are always ready. Perhaps, this is INDEED so...the active battalions. I cannot generalise too much, can i?

I rmbered boss mentioned that he doesn't want to vanish for 1 month or so..i seriously hope that he wun want me back for fieldcamp, range....they need to work together.. sigh...at the same time, i dun hope anything to cock up..cos i feel responsible for anything that can prossibly cock up... then spec corp would prob say offcier this and offcier that...YES...OFFCIER...

come to think about how effective the old system in R coy was operating on. it was wonderful. Every thing was done siew siew...on time and even b4 the scheduled time, every f shit was set up for conduct of lesson. what can we blame now for the inefficiency and ineffective running of the company? Is it because we are now adopting a new system that is more ren2 ci1..which is more people-orientated? Last time, lines are drawn extremely clear. SPEC is spec, dun u put your hands over the shoulder of an officer..there was also line drawn within the spec...24th batch, 25th, 26...yada yada..B U T...pple work in fear of getting extra..they did things promptly and just wanna get off asap. they hate it...why do u want to instil FEAR ? it's very sad and discouraging...and so some of my colleagues and i wanted a change....in the end, pple can talk cock to one another regardless which u are from and what rank u are.

Yesterday was Games' day....rec from F coy was commenting that my coy is pes C....not fit...yada yada...then i tot ' why this kind of remarks ...so what if u are comat fit... why did u make comments and discriminate pes c rec' ...to think about that, they are prob those impt pple who does paper work for ya, those who transport u around, who load/unload all your blardy stores up/down the tonner..these are pple whom melvin mentioned as paper.

He gave an analogy:

pte,lcp,cpl are like paper

think for yourself?

who is more lowly paid?

are u sure u are correct?

actually each of the above has their own job scope....

so everyone is impt.

well this applies for bmtc..cos i'm serving NS there...puny island..

advancement...knn...oso depend on BMI..yes, this's the latest thing i heard....so go get me aguy who get get things done...but BMI is 27...does he get promoted.

I'm feeling very lucky not to have signed on. then again, would RSAF would be the same?

neh......out of the 3 services, ARMY is the worst...in terms of everytthing.

I would think that AIs would req change and a whole lot a mini- transformation...

my two frens would feel the pinch....suck thumb again.

below are 3 personels in my coy now...

-male dancing teacher who does ballet and modern..he is tasked to cheoreo dance for nat day 06. he started ballet at 21. he got a scholarship from NAC. he is way cool when he performed.

i tot of learning to dance but always think i'm too old for it.....yes ...BALLET...are u laughing now?

-assistant director at mediacorp...dun u think i can be a stand-in on tv...well..i'm giving good thoughts to what to do during i'm clearing my leave and after i ord hor

-entertainment company boss...he has his own company.. small but business is gradually bigger...he started of with children entertainment..he's clown himself and he's a close-up magician. he says for my size i can don mascot costume and can earn about 80bucks per hour...

This guy may be a rec but i may get paid by him in time to come..

i'm gonna get their nos..

HAPPY STUFF: mama mia tonight...learning to park car today..meeting up with frens tmr...oh ya. the camp next yr...i'm looking for places already.