Monday, June 14, 2010

REFLECTION after a yr as a PROFESSIONAL

I will turn ONE YEAR old as a professional social worker tmr, 15th JUNE 2010.

I wrote a reflection on my 10th week of work and one more on the 20th week.

I am at my 52nd week being a Professional Social Worker.

What is a professional social worker? Who am I? What do I (need to) do? How do I do what I (need to) do? Am I developing as an individual, as a worker, as a colleague, as a worker? How do I know I am progressing, stagnant, burning out?

To an extent, I do not have answer.“Social Work… a response when God called 8 years ago.”
8 years ago, social work is almost unheard of. Who knows that this social sector scene would develop into something like this today; scholarships were dished out, sabbatical leave and upgrading are part of professional development package, accreditation, pushing for higher remuneration and a call for more to join this sector which is lacking 60 workers annually.

The last 50 odd weeks in where I am has been quite smooth. I thank God for the opportune scholarship which I applied for and meeting with whom I am working for now. The office atmosphere is somewhat comfortable and pleasant for me as I am not facing any difficulty interacting my any colleagues.

I remember my first time observing my mentor’s session and realized real-time session and observation are vastly different. I remember my first ever client in the agency and whom I am still working with though she has MIA for a while. Family with financial issues are usually the first type of client a newly grad social worker would work with. I saw clients who are idealistic, who are unmotivated, who cannot understand my English, whom I struggle working with. I still (have to) meet them.

Then I got hold of clients with housing issue where certain organisation has policies which are idealistic, which are inflexible, which cannot help client whose plight/hardship/loss/angst/ fear/worry can hardly be tamed.

Aha! Change agent. A familiar term. Yr1s would have hear about it. How have I been as a change agent for client? Who needs to change? Who advocates? I work within the structure and policy now. I dun have the energy, resources, time to advocate change at the community level.

Next up, child bhv and youth-related cases are some challenging ones too. They need more counseling and social work, I feel. I think I just use ideas that pop in my head. Sculpturing, Questionnaires, Vignettes,etc. Theoretical backings- seriously, not sure. Maybe have, just can’t put any finger to it.

I like encouragement. I receive that from my first supervisor who sees more strength in an individual than deficit. Likewise, she was one whom I learned how important to trust in the ability of clients to cope in their difficulties. That allay anxieties which happen as I have about 40 cases.; some being more critical than others. Halfway, I swop supervisor. I got one whose style I can better appreciate. From her, I think I gain confident, affirmation, and whom i picked up ideas and skills from.

So far, I have shared positive things. Are they any negative ones over the year?
Yes! Definitely!

Piling recording, sense of helplessness, certain level of guilt because of inactivity, stagnation with my clients.
There are instances I am afraid of calling them because there is nothing I can do. My assessment of my clients’ situations are not well covered. I don’t possess a flair in writing (letters , assessment, appeals) to organisations, which torment clients.

I dislike the nonsensical expectation another organsation has on FSC and expect miracles to happen between people family members). I dislike the fact that summons and fines are given to families WHO GENUINELY CANNOT PAY their bills. It’s like pouring petrol onto person on fire and telling him to quicky extinguish the it by searching a fire extinguisher. While I must say that some clients are at fault for their miscalculation of funds but the fact they cannot pay remains. By pushing them to pay hefty instalment would only contribute stress for them.

U see, family first or family as the first line of defence is our society's philosophy as a result its socio-economical-political environment. Many helping hand- sigh...too many cooks spoil the broth! Don't they get it!

It’s like the message of procreation, marriage and fathering. How can we expect families to involve fathers when they need to work long hours to earn a meagre income? No work=no income. Long hours NOT= to higher income. Futhermore expecting mothers who are stressed-up caregiver to nurture children with love.

Parents with baggage would also lack parenting skills to bring up their children. Not aware that they need to grow with their children would isolate their children from them. Increasing cost of living in Singapore is also a factor to consider. On one hand, married children are encouraged to take care of their parents, and when they do that, they probably do not have enough for their children.

I can only sympathise and unable to empathise their hardship.

Employment. We learn in econs that low labour cost is attractive. IF Singaporeans are to take them up, are they able to support their family? Foreign workers. Apart from the usual complaints about “Singaporeans losing job to foreign workers”, the foreign workers happen to occupy flat units where Singaporeans could have used it as temporary homes. But some singaporeans have to turn to void decks, beaches, friend’s house, or expensive unit on the open market. Anyway, I dun major in econs. I got C for it.

@ times, I feel angry FOR parents, angry AT parents because of their child’s ill-discipline but I cannot show them my true colour but can only convey certain therapeutic message behind the code of ethics and approach them professionally. I wish I could also scold and wake some parents up too.

These are some struggles.

Over the past 50 odd week, I think I sorta have an understanding how I cope, how I do certain things, how I don’t do certain things. Eg. I need a extended break from work every 6 months. I need to get away from clients, from workdesk, theories, shared folders, work emails.

I am, but, a young shoot in this sector.

I think I welcome my 2nd year where children, youth, pp with financial hardship, housing issues come look for me.

Wait and see.

Friday, June 11, 2010

happy birthday william

25 years of life. quarter of a century young.

first of all, i was touched and plesantly surprised that faith has arrange a surprise for me. it's the first time she did such thing. I am satisfied... During my absence from singapore due to my church camp, she sacrifiiced her rest, time, sleep to prepare my beautiful gift creatively and also thoughtfully. I Love you. faith, thank you for going the extra mile!

I thought for the first half of my life, i was a little boy:pre-pubertal.
I was competitive, said to be more matured that my guy peers, a little short dude who is quite a social butterfly. I thought English was a damn difficult subject to study, followed by Science while Maths and Chinese was a breeze. Thank God for photographs i rmb that i participated in SYF twice, had 2 art work on exhibition in school, conducted my pri sch choir during an event (i stood on a bench cos i was not tall enough the back row to see me), i was in several activities...in and outside of school.

i looked by seeing myself trying to fit into a hapsening group. hahaha..peer group influence... i rmb my mum would comment that if i had listened to her and played bball then, i wouldn't be at my height but would be taller.

Come to think about that, life was quite simple...then again (sigh) it's not fair to say that because i was negotiating my lifestage with limited ability.

2nd half my life till now became more colourful. If stage 1 was foundational building, stage 2 was building of walls, painting of walls, re-painting of walls, washing of walls, decorating the rooms... then whitewash it... then going through renovation... the next 12 years was a ride!

it was more complicated and colourful but one that led influence and impact my life now.

secondary sch-college-NS-grad.
self doubt, envious, writ, determination, playful, socialable, confusion, acceptance, pride, stress achievement, finding one's strength, relationships, difficult exams, strange tutors, tutor-friend, mission trips, church, Christ, life, purpose, baggages, hurt, tears, fears, confidence, disappointment, love, etc.

The 2nd half of my life... the 2nd 12, so many things had come to pass... some are history while some are writing its history now..I cannot imagine how quickly it has been. i was 1, then 12 then 25 years on earth.

reviewing my life now hur...

very soon, i'll turn 27 then 30 then 32 then 35...then late 30s... then 45, then 48... how about half a century young?haha..by then, i guess i won't be blogging but i hope i would be reflecting, sharing with my loved ones about how my first 25 years on earth has been and how the 2nd 25 years are like... and what my hope for tmr would be...

happy birthday william =D

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